Love the repitiion.Great Read Line By line it all just came together good use of metaphors And grammer Overall a Good read glad I had the chance to Enjoy it .By the way Iím No Talent Check out some of my work sometime aight.
This was a very honest write. Once the struggle begins to subside, you can focus on what's important- you! It's so hard to just let things rest, just make sure that you're not doing it for the simple fact that you feel in a way, defeated. I say don't waste your breath if it's not worth it...I've taken that lousy road more than I'd like to admit. There's a lot of strenth contained in this piece...the realization that it would be best to let it go. If you know that it's a losing battle, that's the best thing to do. Great job...I look forward to reading more! Candi
I'm sorry for the way u feel or felt, but to bring about a writing this... well, simple, and straight forward, but with a meaning that almost all can relate to and have an experence that corrosponds with, that feeling must've been powerful. Just trust me, ur not the first person to feel like this and we guys arn't the only ones that do this the girls, girls can do it to us too so i know first hand it is good to let it rest, only i usually let them know how im' feeling first, lol. Well, with personal feelings and thought brought on by this, simply it's a pretty good write, and enough to make me want to read more of ur work. Simple structure, strong feelings, the basics of a good poet.
Should I show how deep inside it Hurts me still? I let it rest.
that little bit threw me off a bit.. other than that, i loved the repition and i loved the questions..
to me question pieces are extremely good, because it gets the reader thinking..
as far as poetry goes, edgar allan poe wrote about death, horror, and despair.. and you tell me that the ghetto is not something to write about.. well in the ghetto you will find death, terror and despair.. the only difference is.. its not made up... you can get in your car and find it, instead of going to the library and reading about it.. good job on this piece