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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Porchdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1348



    Description:
       Someone I have cared about deeply for a long time--Devon Whisler--has finally given up on God and on himself. He wants to kill himself. Honestly, I don't care anymore. My brother tells me not to worry because Whisler is in God's hands.

    So I'm not worrying.
    I'm writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Porchdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I stood at the door.
    It was raining in the house.
    I stayed on the porch.
    Knocking, knocking.
    You would not answer.
    I threw my fists
    against wood and hinge.
    Bled from my knuckles,
    cried from squinting eyes,
    as I was in the sun.

    A new approach,
    I turned the handle,
    opened the door.
    And though you would not answer,
    you'd been standing there
    the whole time.
    Watching, waiting.
    It was raining inside,
    you were dripping proof.
    You glared at me,
    your hands limp.
    Not angry,
    just surrendered
    to your
    inconsistent flaws.

    I stood on the porch.
    On the porch in my light.
    You stood in the door.
    In the door with your rain.
    I stood, waited,
    watched you.
    And all you said,
    "Go home, Katie.
    Go home."

    Is this what they call
    despair?
    I have not lost you.
    I never had you.
    But you have lost
    your self.
    You have given up
    your faith.
    And that is what
    haunts me,
    because you love the sun.
    You could have
    come onto the porch.
    One small step.
    But you forced me to
    leave you in the rain.




    Submitted on 2005-07-21 02:32:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think that this was the first poem of yours I ever read. I still really like it.

    I'm kind of sad that you took down so many of your more recent posts. They were beautiful, and now its like suddenly my access to a great fountain is instead checkered with little blind dots. I have a peculiarly dry, and somewhat ashamed mouth who says all this.

    I apologize for my comment on your poem, "there will never be peace." I mean, I apologize for the fact that it was over the top and out of the blue. I will concede those things, but I retain my alarmist bias toward what I consider weaponized or weapons-grade poetry.

    Over the top? Yes. Out of habit, I think I still do things just to make sure you dislike me, and/or to make it seem like I dislike you. Why do I do this? I suppose it's like switching on a garbage disposal for wormholes-- run the faucet cold. Still I never mean to actually hurt your feelings, I really really don't.

    I don't have much more to say, except that I hope you still post more work in the future, and unswerved by my rabid critique; in truth my heart has a puppy somewhere that has always eagerly read and adored your poetry, and would miss it. What is this pup, who is this pup.



    | Posted on 2009-09-02 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      I found a strange sense of apathy and of disconnectedness as I read this. I do not know why. But I think you've found tangibility in the world where there usually is none. What else can I say? You are a poet.
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      The images in this piece are very good. The picture you chose has great effect, it seems out of a dream. Despair is something we all go through. We all have varying degrees of it. This was an honest piece. Although I disagree on one point: While here on earth, those who wallow in sorrow are in there own hands, or those of another.
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good Katie. I'm sorry to hear about Whisler. But your brother's right. He is in God's hands. However, tell your dad, or your pastor, or both. If he wants to commit suicide, an adult needs to know, which I'm sure you already knew. I will try to remember to pray. Luv ya girlie!
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i love this piece. i'm going to add it to my fav's list. i know the feeling of having to watch someone suffer and trying to help them but they just want you to leave them. its hard watching your friends and people you love and care about hurt emotionally. i think you did really good in this piece. there was a lot of emotion. keep it up.
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great, great imagery and point making. You should be proud of this.
    Let me know what you think of my poems Would love any feedback thanx
    John
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG! Its so beautiful! I love all the emotions in this piece. I'm really sorry that this person that you deeply care for has given up on life. I understand that he thinks God has given up on him, but God is always there, even if he doesn't answer. I enjoyed the picture for it, it add a lot more emotion to all of this.

    ~Miku~
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by WindEmpress | [ Reply to This ]
      omg... like i said that this is one of my favs... i'm just coming back to rad it once again... i love it as much as i did the first time i read it! i wish that i could add it twice to my favs list! its just that good.. keep up the awesome work!
    love tina
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    67407

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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