Description: Lets just say this....I know it is a depressing piece, and it really does not have a light at the end of the tunnel...but sometimes it helps to be bleak...and I guess with that said today is my day.
Fallen into life -------------------------------------------
This is not my life
Even though it follows the same days
It is not what had been originally imagined
As I thought it was to be.
I’m so pushed in by it all
Making me retreat to my shell
Because there is nothing left
And what is there promises to take me down.
Is there no one to help?
This answer is always no
These are things that you will always have to do alone
Even if you have someone who promises you the moon
And all that is left is you and your woes
I thought I had over come this
But another wave sweeps my wretch of a life
Making me decide to sway with its pull
I no longer have the strength
To stand against the wind
Rather this time I will lie to the ground
And allow it to over come me
This will be my new submission
As I fade into what is now my life.
Wow, what a bad day for you. I can so relate to this. I am very happy to see you express your feelings, even though they were negative, so creatively. I liked everything about this...maybe most of all the sheer honesty in your words. Very good job. A favof mine.
hmmm...just laying down for a moment to gain strength...? Nothing wrong with that, ya know? But very sad and yes, you did manage to seal its meaning quite well. I hope all gets better for ya. Try and have a good one and smile
its like a depressed/independent piece. you know you depressed and keep trying to do something about it but nothing ever happens because everybody shoots you down.
These are things that you will always have to do alone Even if you have someone who promises you the moon And all that is left is you and your woes I thought I had over come this But another wave sweeps my wretch of a life
i really liked that. this little segment i think is what brings this write out good job once again
damn. this is sweet (and I don't mean all candy and roses). I really like this piece a lot. It's bleak and dark, but honest, and that's the important thing. I love the first four lines: This is not my life Even though it follows the same days It is not what had been originally imagined As I thought it was to be. I think almost everybody can relate to those lines. I mean, are any of our lives really like we dreamed they would be? I do have to say I'm not too crazy about the end (where you allow yourself to be overcome); but that's just my personal preference. This is still an awesome write. J
This is depressing. But the depressing pieces are usually some of the best pieces that I read. Because they are deep with emotion and arent all corny and stuff. But overall it was actually pretty awesome!
I like the observers look at what life is and what we think it should be. I was reminded of my response to my voice on tape. It just does not seem to be what I hear.
Submission Name: Fallen into life
