A masked soul
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Description:
I have met many who fit this description, and hope that someday they will truly be free of the chains that they lock themselves down with. Feel free to give any kind of feedback for I am certainly not afraid to hear the truth.
A masked soul
The sunrise finds its way Through the slats of her windowpanes And slowly she awakens From the sleep that took long to gain A furtive glance at her alarm Only a quarter past five And finally she comes to realize Indeed she is still alive For a bit of precious time alone She feels a peace at heart And then it is time For the ways of the world to start The alarm clock begins its lazy buzz And out escapes a defeated sigh For she knows She must not let them see her cry On with her day she moves The perfect example of a happy girl The epitome of blissfulness Until you glance into her world Within her eyes you may catch The pain that lies below The anguish and the heartache That few think her to know But they will soon discover The pain within those eyes Is the anguish of a soul Hidden well in a disguise On the heartache will continue Until someone is willing to be Her helper and her savior Discovering who she is to be Until the day her rescue comes The girl will likely stay Deep within herself Hidden, locked away So if you know this girl My friends be for her kind and true The key that unlocks her chains And sets a soul anew |
Submitted on 2005-07-21 12:33:44 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments
You had a nice plot behind this piece, and I probably know people like this but as you say, they hide it behind smiling faces and the like. I look forward to reading some more of your work because this is a nice opening into your style of writing and I'd say this is a pretty solid write. So keep it up and welcome to the site!| | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ] | blah. these people who comment are weird. i am about to make your % go lower than mine. somehow... try a diffferent type of rhyming scheme. gets boring after a while. | | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Sephiroth | [ Reply to This ] | Hey Ash- | Well, I finally got around to reading you poetry. I must say- I wasn't expecting a piece like this... You exceeded my expectations Miss "I can't write poetry". I especially liked the way it was very to the point but it still showed strong feeling. However, I must comment on the last stanza- It sounded a little more forced then the others like possibly you didn't know how to end. Other than that and a couple spelling errors, I believe you are on your way to becoming a poet m'dear. Continue using it as an outlet. When everything else is gone- words will always be there. No one can take that away. Love you, Kali. | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by Kali | [ Reply to This ] | I really enjoyed reading this. I love rhyming, and yo told the story well. My only picky thing: | "On with her day she moves The perfect example of a happy girl The epitome of blissfulness Until you glance into her eyes" That one stanza doesnt rhyme!!! I realise it's not a big deal, but it would be nice to bring it into line with the others. How about: "On with her day she moves The perfect example of a happy girl The epitome of blissfulness Until you glance into her real world" Just a thought. I was VERY impressed with this. Be Happy Graeme | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ] | |
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