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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Play Crack the Stephdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: playcrackthesky
    ASL Info:    21/f/IA
    Elite Ratio:    4.46 - 463/457/88
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 813
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1215



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlay Crack the Stephdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wouldnít you like to play Crack The Steph?

    I know how you break my heart
    By loving this part of me

    Caressing the outrageous strands
    That make up my wounds

    Cry out? For me?

    Let me drip my heart out
    Then punch the tears from my eyes

    Iíll pull the frog from your throat
    While you twist my insides

    Letís go ahead and play this game
    You insist on never giving up

    See which buttons turn me on
    And how many turn me away

    Maybe youíd like to unbutton me
    So my heart slips from my shirt

    Wouldnít you like to see what happens?

    Iím cracking up inside
    From your treacherous touches

    I canít stop myself now
    Thereís no one to heal me inside

    And youíll continue
    To love me your way

    How can it hurt so much
    To peel away from you?

    But burn so hot
    To touch this part of you

    Iíll keep playing your game
    thatís killing me slowly

    Because I donít know anything else
    I donít know anyone else.




    Submitted on 2005-07-21 18:44:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      damn this was kinda crazy. I liked it, but thats one hell of a way to feel. But I guess i've felt it before, not in the same way, but loving something that isn't really good for you, now that I say that...way too many times have I done that. way too many...I know you write this a while ago, so I hope that you're doing going through this right now, because you're steph, and that wouldn't be cool at all. anyway, take care and I really enjoyed this one, made me think about [censored] for sure.

    Brent
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say that I like the first version better. I wish I could say exactly why, maybe because it's simpler. I do like the end of this more. I think maybe you could rephrase "that's killing me slowly" but the previous line and the last two lines are great. Okay now that I've re-read, the lines you added to the beginning are growing on me. "Caressing the outrageous strands" is the line i'm still not sure about. Why "outrageous"? Maybe you could explain the piece to me. ps just as someone else mentioned I'm curious about your name also.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem. Very honest and emotional and sounds to me like some kind of abusive relationship. I could be wrong but that is the impression I got from reading this. I just wonder why you would stay. Some relationships can be so rough and some people seem to enjoy being insensitive. I dont know why, just the way it is I guess. I try to pin point them right away and then stay the hell away from them. I do like how you wrote this one. Very nicely written and expressed. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Great Read Line By line it all just came together good use of metaphors
    And grammer Overall a Good read glad I had the chance to Enjoy it .By the way Iím
    No Talent Check out some of my work sometime aight.
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm...sounds like one of those "well dont really like this, but aint wanting to find something/someone better" feelings, ya know?

    And youíll continue
    To love me your way

    Powerful...I bet you could base a whole poem/write/song off of those words. They have such strength to them.

    Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      chic... i dont understand why more attention isnt being paid to your work... seriously...
    you write about real things that everyone can identify with and you avoid the whole clichť "you broke my heart i hate you" groove most 15 yr olds find themselves in... you really are something else...

    crack the steph aint a game i think i would be into i dont think... the sarcasm in the first line bites the reader hard... right from the outset youve shown what your getting at... theres no beating round the bush your right upfront and its almost like a challenge really...

    your write is very full of images that break me... i hate the idea of you hurting coz your such a beautiful girl and you deserve better...
    the end... the settling for the game coz you dont know anything/anyone else... that kills me... honestly... no matter how much this person you aimed it at means to you you cannot stay in this relationship... in this game... it is chipping away at your self esteem and its gonna leave you with nothing chikky and then you wont be able to meet new ppl...

    See which buttons turn me on
    And how many turn me away

    these lines fascinated me... they really did... turn you on/turn you away... dunno... very original presentation of the button theory...

    you be taking care of you chic... i think its time to change the rules of the game... even the name...
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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