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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rearviewdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 614
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 604



    Description:
       Just another contemplation on a long overdue breakup.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRearviewdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You maintained the tone the voice embraces
    spun the errant words round bone and blood
    those that came undone unmasked mere faces
    shamed themselves to death and then were done
    risen from the ashes, gently lifted
    even from the earth's recumbent gifts
    treasures through lean fingers, slowly sifted
    as if it were the end. In fact, it is.

    Goodnight, it's been good to know ya
    sorry if I stayed too long
    goodnight, it's been good to know ya
    Love the way I sing that song
    Love the way I sing that song...




    Submitted on 2005-07-21 20:43:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      such a calm tone used in describing a situation so often overwhelming. then again your description does state the fact that it was something long overdue. I suppose that's life, sometimes you can sense things heading south as soon as you've reached north ( sometimes northeast). well I definitely get the feeling from this that maybe it wasn't easy but had to be done. the finish painted me a picture of one whistling as they turned their back and walked away ( not a cheerful whistle but a low sad kind of tune)
    well done

    Milo
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]
      This was quite powerful...I am over here quite in awe. I think that we have all been here...but the thing is just being able to express it in this manner. You gave it a sense of tranquility to me. A sense that we can overcome. I know you didn't really state that in this write...but I am kind of reading behind what is seen.

    This was great! I loved it.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I LOVE the last standza
    Goodnight, it's been good to know ya
    sorry if I stayed too long
    goodnight, it's been good to know ya
    Love the way I sing that song
    Love the way I sing that song...
    keep up the good workl peace & stay safe...
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]


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