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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: FAMILY FEUDSdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xtremegentleman
    ASL Info:    22/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 595/778/82
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1511
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1563



    Description:
       This is a hard time in my life. I don't think my writing can get any realer than it has been lately. RIP Junior...Don't let us ruin your peace...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFAMILY FEUDSdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tempers getting juiced
    Heart-felt statements confused
    When you are born in this world
    The given is one day you'll lose

    We all will meet our maker
    We might as well be ready
    The burden is light when you're alright
    But wait until it gets heavy

    Family members throwing fits
    Even throwing up their fists
    Even the damn dog is walking 'round
    Like she pissed

    And everybody's barking and arguing
    Can't we get along
    I guess Junior was the reason
    There was peace within this home

    But a piece of us is gone
    Still life goes on
    What is this about cremation?
    The fight goes on

    Nobody's wrong 'cause now
    They all love him since he's dead
    So why argue over his room
    And who's gon' get his bed

    The funeral will take the cake
    And as the flowers wilt
    The ones that cry the hardest
    Are usually ones with the guilt

    Never cared, never stopped by
    The house to say hi
    But they loved Junior so much
    "Why did he have to die"

    Why do you have to lie?
    Who cares who will miss him most
    Stop disrespecting his memory
    Pretending y'all were close

    Let's be real
    This is the time when families unite
    Junior is turning in his grave
    Watching his family fight






    Submitted on 2005-07-22 11:59:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      *exhales* wow... I didn't even realise I was holding my breath till the end... this is so down to earth and real like that I don't see how I can comment it. except for the line "The funeral will take the cake" I can't help but feel like the expression was improperly used... but it probably isn't... although I would really like to know how... but yea.. this is great and it really hits home. I pray that things have gotten much better since then... with your family and all. This is beautiful so keep doing what you do. :)

    ~Do~
    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by dead,yetalive | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I really like this!! It doesn't really relate to me but the man I love has a similar situation like this with all the family problems...I loved the way you put this poem together. The rhyming and wording was touchy in some areas but other than that it was great. Oh the man I love goes on this website I thought ya'll would get along because he also is a huge Tupac person Check him out His name is C. Flava My sexy chocolate man lol anyways. Good job Peace Mysterious
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Mysterious Blue | [ Reply to This ]
      yes this is realist as it gets. i know how it is when people who never really cared pretend to care. at my skool ( i was a freshie) and 3 of my classmates died this year. one died in a car crash, so everyone was sad cuz he was a funny and popular guy. then one shot himself with a shotgun, and i know some people who didn't even know him other than his name, and said how they all missed him or wteva, but they had never even spoken to him. but worse was the people who laffed at his death and said he had no friends anyway. then a few months later, another kid shot himself and the skool went crazy and got speakers to come tell us all to stop killing ourselves. but not that directly of course. so i know it is very annoying when people pretend to care, but at least they do not make fun of the dead right?
    at the homecoming football game the kids from Shakopee made fun of the first kid who dieded.
    ok i wrote a lot hope your family gets thru all right and be strong for each other i know all us freshmen who are now sophies had to be.
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...I know how this is. When my friend Ellis died I sat back and watched a lot of people step up that were never around. The love was shown. Yet, afterwards it was like he just quickly disappeared. No one remenisced on him except for me and my daughters father. Ellis was one in a million. His mother raised him very well for being from the hood. He showed respect...spoke properly...he was unique. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    I give you as much love, support, and strength as I can. I know how hard a time like this can be.

    I just returned from vacation to find out that my friends daughter drowned Saturday. Only 15 months old! 15 months! I can't even imagine. A child that already made a mark...pictures, videos, first teeth, first words...I can't imagine something happening to my daughter.

    This one really touched my heart Brian. I hope that all will heal...but forever keep his memory within them. He will walk with those who remember him.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm so sorry for you loss. You are right this is definetely the "realest" I really have nothing to critiqre this. It is really good. You have so much emotion put into this. *eyes getting ready to cry* So much emotion packed into it. Great job. This is a favorite most definetely.

    I hope all goes well with everything...and as i told you before...stay strong...as i know you will.

    ~~~>Mikki
    <3
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      realest Brian. i don't meanto be goin all crazy n [censored] at a time like this, but brian, i think through this all, your starting to see all the petty [censored] thats been goin on for what it really is and your benefitted. when your not postin about Li Li n 'nem, you [censored]in shine. brian, you know you have my prayers and my sympathies. God bless~emcee 2 emcee, real recognizes real, P
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is indeed real.. and well written. It's sad really.. that families argue over such trivial things when someone passes away.

    I'm sorry for your loss.. and sorry too, that you have to watch those around you make such a todo about it all.

    I agree, the bit of humor about the dog was a nice touch..

    You expressed a lot of emotion in this.. and a lot of truth to how some people "act".. when someone dies.

    Great work here..

    Take care~
    ~ Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so very well stated! I am sorry for your loss! I too, have lost many close to me in my family and death always seems to bring out the fighting. I guess it is cause everyone is on edge and full of anger over their loss. They take out there feelings on each other even when they might not mean to. Everyone deals with loss in their own way and usually it causes some anger especially between the people closest. Anyway, a beautifully written piece. I hope you find your writing therapeutic in this most difficult time! Take care!
    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Uplifting thoughts and prayers for you and your family. Everybody deals with death differently and I know when my brother died I thought it would bring us all closer but my family just didn't allow that, which is too bad. I just have to let them deal with their s#*@ and find peace within myself and Great Spirit.
    Glad you could get this out. Stay strong! Love,Peace,Joy! epiphany ; - }
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      The ones that cry the hardest
    Are usually ones with the guilt

    I liked those lines. Really hit home.

    This was very well written as always and I liked the slight humor you put in about the dog, nice touch. Sorry for your loss and its too bad that sometimes death does this to families. Hope all gets better. Have a good one and good luck.
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      i send a prayer to you to get through this man. you cant get no realer than talking about family throwing on a disguise of love when somebody dies. and it hurts people that were actually close to that person the most to see someone show their fake love. it shouldn't have to be a death or a funeral that brings a family together, and i hope you get through it. keep your head up and dylan poe sends his sympathies.

    solemnpen "lil bro"
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      "The funeral will take the cake
    And as the flowers wilt
    The ones that cry the hardest
    Are usually ones with the guilt"

    wow...you are right this is the "realest" your muse has spoken...again another emotional piece...there is really nothing to critique on this because I don't view it as a "poem" I view it as a cleasing type of conversation...

    I pray your family finds peace, including you...

    T
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      hey,
    sorry for the loss in your home. i didnt like the bigginin of it then twards the middle i was into it and it finished a little weird.but thats ok.. its still a good touching poem. it hurts to loose someone, and it hurts more to see family torn apart by it to...the only thing i can do is wish you my best...

    -Suicidalchild51-
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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