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    dots Submission Name: A humble prayerdots

    Author: solemnpen
    ASL Info:    18
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 303/339/42
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1019

       this is dedicated to anybody who has lost someone and to x. i know i dont know him, but after reading what hes been writing i can feel him, only being 15 and losing 3 grandparents, 2 cousins and a best friend. you kinda toughen up quick or get left behind. so i hope its taken as it should be nothing more nothing less

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    dotsA humble prayerdots

    Do me a favor
    close your eyes with me
    lets say a little prayer
    for the souls lost in the street
    reminence on the times we had
    they have left, now we're sad and glad
    that they are gone, never to come back
    we know they in the sky, but my life is off track
    Didnt know it would happen like that
    Now that you gone, who has my back?
    Lord take care of the ones
    that are traveling to their new home
    dont let them led astray
    let them sing your songs
    And reach down and touch those that mourn
    because the death of a loved one
    is like trying to wear a crown of thorns
    show us that this was the best way
    it was your way, no other reason for that day
    you took another angel back home
    and left us here to grieve, all alone
    as i say this humble prayer, forgive me for my sins
    i cant wait for that reunion, with family and friends
    God bless all who reads,

    Submitted on 2005-07-23 01:15:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nicely done kid. Good flow and rhymes, but more importantly, the message was strong. I think that those that you lost would be proud as h3ll to read this. Not only to know that this is how much you love them, but to see that you are using your writing gift for positive and encouraging pieces. Awesome job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      my grandpa...to cancer. both my grandpas actually. this was...incredible. it felt like you were directly talking to me, and it felt good to know that someone cares a little. you made me feel better...thanks. truly, you have probably just saved my life...

    with love-nirvana
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by Nirvana | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this, not so much because of how it was written *good, don't get me wrong*, but what it was for. this was a touchy subject and you handled it maturely, son. lol. srry just tryin to get a little humor in so y'all aren't to down n out about it. praise that they aren't here suffering anymore. god bless, grasshopper~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Merry Meet Solemnpen. I too have lost a number of loved ones. Most recently my 17 y/o sister to suicide. I am very sorry to hear of your losses. I love the poem you wrote and will be adding it to my list of faves. My wound from my sister is still quite raw, so I am having a hard time commenting anything useful on the poem. If you read through it you may pick up the word gaps and punctuation errors, This is a terrific poem and I am sure when I am more healed it will be beautiful. Blessed Be Andrea
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by magickandie | [ Reply to This ]

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