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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bit of Fundots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadlydarkdevil
    Elite Ratio:    5.35 - 241/173/40
    Words: 296
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 283
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1947



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBit of Fundots
    -------------------------------------------


    Everybody thinks that they can always be telling me what to do
    How to act how I feel and how I should be treating you

    They don't know and they'll never guess just how different the truth is
    Then again the truth's so easy, it really is just this

    Messing around
    Breaking the rules
    Just having a bit of fun
    Life's not easy
    Do what you choose
    There's no pleasing everyone

    A lecture here, and a commitment there everybody wants a piece of me
    Pushing me down, not even aware of the truth, why can't they see?

    Just a bit of joy in this simple life of mine is what I seek
    But they just want me to behave, be pretty and oh-so-meek.

    Messing around
    Breaking the rules
    Just having a bit of fun
    Life's not easy
    Do what you choose
    There's no pleasing everyone

    We're messing around,
    Breaking the rules
    We just call it a bit of fun
    It's you and me
    Doing what we choose
    Scaring just about everyone

    I want to be more than just that girl to you
    Oh can't you see, can't keep lying to ourselves that's true

    Where's the truth? What's that secret you have kept
    In hiding we both lose, some secrets can't be kept

    Secrets can't be kept
    What's that secret…?

    Messing around
    Breaking the rules
    Just having a bit of fun
    With you and me
    Doing what we choose
    There's no pleasing anyone

    ain't no pleasing anyone, while

    Everybody thinks that they can just be telling me what to do
    How to act how I feel and how I should be treating you

    But how should you be treating me…?





    Submitted on 2005-07-23 11:56:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is pretty good..i liked the message, that we shouldnt have anybody telling us what to do...kinda hard to comment on it when thats the message...but there's also the have some fun, take life easy...which is always good but there's also always a limit...yes, having written this, i dont think u wanna "hear" me say that...i liked the style... how you started with sentences and then went to stanzas, on and off..the repetition of the first stanza is pretty cool...i really liked the end of the whole thing, really brought closure to the piece..
    all in all its pretty good...it kind of sounds like lyrics to me, especially with the "Oh cant you see"...really makes it sound like a song...
    good write
    DeepsLighter
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by DeepsLighter | [ Reply to This ]



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