this is really good. it didnt have too much depth but i still liked it. it is one of the firsts that i liked with not alot of depth. i liked how at the end she makes a chenge it actually had a reason to explain everything. every thought was for a reason. i really liked it.
how sad for u gena! im sry u feel sad but everybody cares about you! and if u die the whole world would be all sad! AGAIN u cant leave bcz then ill have to leave and then my puppy would have to leave and then there will be no u or me or puppy and then the world would die of poverty bcz our returant isnt there!anyway i tried to call u! lets hook up tomorrow for u bday! my mom said if it was okay with ur mom that we could take u out to lunch! i have the money to get the harry potter book now but no one feels like taking me and they complain about how i dont read! anyway peace! ~akaila evonne~
I have gone through that exact same thing...about to commit suicide and picturing my funeral. My dad also wasn't there, but my mom was dead inside... I agree, try to make it a bit longer and use descriptive words the whole way through, as they were lacking at the beginning. But I love it all the same, put it on my favorites, it really touched me...probably because I can relate.
I this alot intill the end you suddenly stop. i think you should not rushed to finish it it would sound better.you started to use discriptive words at the end i like that but i think u need to use the though the whole poem.well hope to hear from you and keep writing
Really enjoyed reading this, seems as if she were to afraid to just give up on her mom, and thats what she would have been doing is giving up, and it was good to see that she didn't end up giving up. Very good imagery also.
damn. u did it again. i don't know what makes u feel this way. hey i know i'd miss u if u died even though i don't know u very well. yea i pictured myself not going 2 my dad's funeral the same way u see ur dad not going 2 ur's. good write girl
This is pretty good. you got good structure and a texture of pain. It feels of pain and confusion, that is what is bringing this poem out, the reason why she did not do it because of confusion and a remorse of love. That is what it feels like when I read this. Very good deep , sad poem. I enjoyed it. Smiles.