Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lay me downdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: intoxicated411
    ASL Info:    14/f/earth
    Elite Ratio:    2.38 - 45/60/28
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 225
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 863



    Description:
       i dont know where this came from i just wrote down as i lay me down to sleep and let it write itself out...hope you like it.be honest!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslay me downdots
    -------------------------------------------


    as i lay me down to sleep
    i pray your heart is mine to keep
    and with this breath that is so weak
    i ask you to teach me heartache
    this burning is more than i can take
    you are my safehouse
    my protection
    i hope you love me
    for my reflection
    i'll be there for you
    until my heart is black and blue.
    your love was all i need
    the air i breeth.
    a simple whisper from you voice
    and i'll fall to sleep
    staying here is your choice
    i will not be your forced answer
    but please,please stay with me
    through this disaster
    because i need you
    to see me through
    i'll even stand on the sidelines for you
    and cheer for you to be my hero
    and lay me down to sleep
    ............goodnight..............




    Submitted on 2005-07-24 14:52:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      although there are parts which were unclear,i'd say that the message you wanted to convey was delivered *thumbs up*
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by Fallen One | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm not really sure if this guy you're talking about is your crush or God because
    "you are my safehouse
    my protection" could be talking about God.
    "i pray your heart is mine to keep" could be talking about your crush.

    Also...i think you might have spelled breath wrong and you said "you" instead of "your" in line 14.
    but besides that...i think it was pretty warm and right on dude!
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.