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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Addictiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AngelOutlaw
    ASL Info:    21/female/OR & WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 672/392/64
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 1316
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 995



    Description:
       Wrote this just now in about 2 minutes after checking out his site. I know how I feel, and this is it.

    PJ, he's not you...but you know who it is, and I'm sorry if this hurts you. I wish he didnt' still haunt me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Addictiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every once in a while,
    Someone comes along
    Who knows just how
    To make you smile
    Or make you cry.

    Well, babe,
    You’re that person for me.

    Every once in a while,
    Someone comes along
    Who means the world
    To you, but doesn’t
    Give a damn about you

    Well, babe,
    You’re that person for me.

    Every once in a while,
    Someone comes along
    Who can make your
    Day, or ruin your week
    Like no other

    Well, babe,
    You’re that person for me.

    Every once in a while,
    Every once in a while.
    You came.
    You saw.
    You left.

    Left me to get over you,
    To move on without help.

    Every once in a while,
    Someone comes along
    Who you love and
    At the same time hate
    With everything in you

    Well, babe,
    You’re that person for me.




    Submitted on 2005-07-24 18:09:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i forgot a word in that last one... i meant i'm sticking with complementing your style.. anyway, i have to make this long enough that it'll show up, or i'll just confuse people...
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing makes me more angry than to see (or hear about) a guy taking advantage of a girl that loves him. love is such a rare thing, how someone can just blow it off is beyond me. In sticking with your style, this was amazing. the repition was done well, and overall, this was just a great work. Good job
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great poem! Wonderful expression of the love/hate emotions! Yeah, men can really suck large! The trick is finding someone with a good heart who thinks more often with his mind verses...! Yeah, they are few and far between! And I can relate to that love and hate you at the same time feeling and man does that suck! Really frustrating! I like the way you put your feelings into words and this poem seems like it was a good emotional release for you! Nice write and take care!

    Lorna
    Oh yeah...feel better too!
    | Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I think everyone has had that someone we thought was it and found out later how wroung we were...This was well written in my opinion, it read well and your "chorus" kind of held all the verses together...
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      i really would've hoped that he would be out of your mind by now, but apparently he's not. i'm not gonna hold it against you, since you found in your heart to not get pissed at me when i told you tha [censored] about briana. i love you, whatever. i don't like him, but then again i don't know him. lata hun~P.J.

    P.S: troy is a whore, don't trust him. LMAO
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      tell me who he his and me and pj'll take care of this [censored] 4 u. [censored], lost omen might help a little. this was good babe. u don't mind if i call u that do u?
    ~troy
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like what you said here:

    Every once in a while,
    Someone comes along
    Who knows just how
    To make you smile
    Or make you cry.

    When i read that it made me think of the love of my life. he's that way for me. he knows how to make me laugh and certainly cry and he's that person for me. really good writing, i could relate
    dylanpoe's girl
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see where you was going with this poem, but it is inconsistant. The words and phrases you use does not flow. I feel as though a few words could be deleted such as:

    Every once in a while,
    Every once in a while.
    You came.
    You saw.
    You left.

    I suggest you use a phrase other than "Every once in a while" since you use it to begin every other stanza. I do like, however, the phrases "Well, baba/You're that person for me." separating every other stanza, giving it some structure. All in all, its a good poem, but I do suggest more editing.

    Lee Minsu
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by Lee Minsu | [ Reply to This ]
      this is seriously a deep thought. its sad to see somebody like you go through something like this, and i know pj doesnt feel bad towards you but i wouldnt blame him if he didnt hate the other guy. to leave someone out in the cold that just isnt right... i lvoed the heartfelt emotions you expressed with so simple of words.... nice write enjoyed reading it
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the best thing I've read all night (and I've been reading a lot). Unfortunately, I can relate completely. I would expand on that, but I think you said it all already in your poem. The wording and flow were perfect. I have nothing but compliments for this. Good luck with everything. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    67854

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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