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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lessonsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: magickandie
    Elite Ratio:    4.34 - 190/168/37
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 262
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 621



    Description:
       This is the way I wish I remembered my family.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLessonsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I was a child,
    Life was quite simple.
    All hurts were made better,
    With a smile and a dimple.

    "Mom, he's bothering me!"
    Rang through the house.
    My brother would run and hide,
    Quiet as a mouse.

    Dad cane home,
    Supper was made.
    Eat, talk and share,
    Together at home we stayed.

    Now I am grown,
    With family still close.
    I have children of my own,
    To love and cherish.

    The lessons of love,
    Are close to my heart.
    To my family,
    I will impart.




    Submitted on 2005-07-25 03:37:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Dear lady, hopeful memmories can be just as beautiful as the real thing, as you've proven here... but i hope you know, that even if things weren't perfect in the past... i can see clearly in you that they have done nothing but shape the wonderful gal i've talked to today... i don't regret that you didn't have this perfect past, not because i'm mean, but because i'm selfish... i'm too worried that if anything would have been different then i wouldn't have met you, and you wouldn't be these many kinds of beautiful you are now... The whole time as i read this poem i was thinking of a norman rockwell painting... you do have the ability to paint with your words, a very gracious talent my friend... the rhyme and the flow were spot on and perfect and only added to the painting effect of this... i'm so very glad you reminded me to get up off my ass and read and comment on your work... now i feel fresh, i feel energized... i feel ready to read more... this was a great poem my friend... hold onto hopeful memmories, because as long as the past can never be again, why not shape it to your standards... take care and blessed be to you Magical Madam

    Travis
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I really enjoyed this Piece Nice Grammer no real mistakes at all Was str8 to the point and touched on an important subject n feeling at once.All and all a Good read Loved everyline BY the way i'm No Talent check out some of my work sometime
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      I alos appreciate the theme of this loving family. technically, you may want to look at the meter. I'm not huge on meter, so if you decide not to change it, it won't kill me! you just may want to look at the last 2 lines in the 2nd, 3rd, and last stanza. good work!
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by jahhnysmom | [ Reply to This ]
      wow sounds like we have the same family and theres not many who can say what u and i can and thats that we have family love support i cant beleive some of the poetry on here of how people have benn seriously let down by there parents , like you i have children of my own and if they have half the childhood i had they will go a long way.
    take care nice to see a happy poem as they normally all depressing.
    lainie x
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]



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