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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Cursedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Podenco del infierno
    ASL Info:    19/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 205/195/38
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1011
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 887



    Description:
       Well...i don't know...i like it...i guess. What do you think of it...?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Cursedots
    -------------------------------------------


    No matter ho hard I try to hide it,
    It won't go away.
    No matter how much I will it away,
    It is always going to stay.
    This curse has scarred me.
    It is haunting me.
    And it won't go away.

    On the dark nights,
    When all is quiet and still,
    And everyone is sleeping,
    I lie awake...
    I cry...
    I try to hide,
    But the curse aways seems to find me.
    Pain always follows me,
    I can't get away.

    The pain becomes unbearable.
    I can't take it anymore!
    And I finally give in.
    Tears pour,
    And memories consume me.
    I can't seem to get away,
    From this horrible curse.

    This is my pain.
    This is my tears.
    This is my scars.
    This blood stained razor blade,
    Is my deadly curse.




    Submitted on 2005-07-25 11:46:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      dang kid...i like this one too!lol. its good. there's a lot of emotion in it. i like the end of this one too. now i know what u ment by have a strong ending.
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by crazygothchika | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed the idea behind this poem and the emotion it has, but usually your poems flow really well and i just wasn't getting that this time, there seemed to be quite a few awkward bits, but maybe you meant to do that? Perhaps you're trying to portray chaos? Anyway i like everything about it except the flow...keep writing
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]
      i was reading your journal entry yesterday, after you commented on my two poems and felt compelled to read some of your work. i understand what you're going through, feeling hopeless... lost... even though i've never taken it as far as cutting. i'm not going to preach to you that it's such a horrible thing to do because, having written this poem, you already know that. i am just here to let you know that being the same age as you, i know what you're feeling because i've felt [and am still feeling] it too. anytime you need a friend, or someone to vent to, i'm here. ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~TaY~
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I really enjoyed this Piece Nice Grammer no real mistakes at all Was str8 to the point and touched on an important subject n feeling at once.All and all a Good read Loved everyline BY the way i'm No Talent check out some of my work sometime
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a little clichéd, and the repetition at the end doesn't work for me, however, your wording is good, and you managed to drift with it instead of writting 20 stanzas on a blade going down your arm, which is good considering that's what we see most of the time. Revise it and it could be better.

    ~ Regards. Uriel
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Uriel | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very interesting and it had me wondering exactly what you were talking about until the very end. You did a great job with the words in this piece...it was painful and sad, I just hope that you don't truly feel this way. Keep your chin up and keep writing! This was quite good!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]


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