Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: aftermath of deaths campaigndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sky McEntire
    ASL Info:    23/m/norfolk
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 15/22/10
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 725
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 789



    Description:
       this is still a work in progress....if you have any suggestions, feel more then welcome to voice them


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsaftermath of deaths campaigndots
    -------------------------------------------


    Amidst the screaming shells
    Lies a soldier still
    His face of stone
    Shows no emotion
    A single thought burning
    Kill, kill, kill

    He knows his job, his duty
    He swore an oath
    He gave his heart
    On loan to Uncle Sam
    The only promise given
    A trip home alive or dead or both

    His weapon is dear to him
    For this his heart still sings
    His weapon is strong, and true
    His weapon is faithful and brave
    His weapon, his family, on angelís wings

    He aims his barrel at other men
    The fear in their eyes shows through
    Their screams are his victories
    The blood staining his hands
    The world now shown through a fiery red hue




    Submitted on 2005-07-25 12:44:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow I really enjoyed this Piece Nice Grammer no real mistakes at all Was str8 to the point and touched on an important subject n feeling at once.All and all a Good read Loved everyline BY the way i'm No Talent check out some of my work sometime
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      Strange...i feel as if i have read this before. Or at least something very close to it of the same subject. Well, anyways, this was good. I haven't gotten into the whole war controversy and don't intend to. But this was great, i liked the descriptions of the soldier and what he was doing. I think though that if you were trying to make this sound intense, it doesn't. It sounds more calm, and doesn't really send a feeling through me as if i were in a war...know what i mean...i like to feel the feelings in poems i read...like i said, i didn't really feel to much fear or whatever someone feels when they are at war. None the less, it was great. Great descriptions, metaphors, etc. Well... excellent job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    67977

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Giving written by jjd
    Linger written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Incubus written by monad
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry