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    dots Submission Name: aftermath of deaths campaigndots

    Author: Sky McEntire
    ASL Info:    23/m/norfolk
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 15/22/10
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 701
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 789

       this is still a work in progress....if you have any suggestions, feel more then welcome to voice them

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    dotsaftermath of deaths campaigndots

    Amidst the screaming shells
    Lies a soldier still
    His face of stone
    Shows no emotion
    A single thought burning
    Kill, kill, kill

    He knows his job, his duty
    He swore an oath
    He gave his heart
    On loan to Uncle Sam
    The only promise given
    A trip home alive or dead or both

    His weapon is dear to him
    For this his heart still sings
    His weapon is strong, and true
    His weapon is faithful and brave
    His weapon, his family, on angel’s wings

    He aims his barrel at other men
    The fear in their eyes shows through
    Their screams are his victories
    The blood staining his hands
    The world now shown through a fiery red hue

    Submitted on 2005-07-25 12:44:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow I really enjoyed this Piece Nice Grammer no real mistakes at all Was str8 to the point and touched on an important subject n feeling at once.All and all a Good read Loved everyline BY the way i'm No Talent check out some of my work sometime
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      Strange...i feel as if i have read this before. Or at least something very close to it of the same subject. Well, anyways, this was good. I haven't gotten into the whole war controversy and don't intend to. But this was great, i liked the descriptions of the soldier and what he was doing. I think though that if you were trying to make this sound intense, it doesn't. It sounds more calm, and doesn't really send a feeling through me as if i were in a war...know what i mean...i like to feel the feelings in poems i read...like i said, i didn't really feel to much fear or whatever someone feels when they are at war. None the less, it was great. Great descriptions, metaphors, etc. Well... excellent job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]

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