Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Passions' Last Breath"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Martin S. Allen
    ASL Info:    33 male
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 671/237/43
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1113
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 690



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Passions' Last Breath"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    our love was dead
    when you lay in his bed
    a passions' last breath
    that long be at rest
    a love betrayed
    the memories fade
    of love and beauty past
    in evenings shroud
    i heard the sound
    of lovers broken truth
    the cuts will soon
    reveal the wound
    gagged and bound in doom
    the blood it leaks
    in silence speaks
    you were the death of me
    they found you dear
    in chains of fear
    a prison in the deep
    a haunting place
    no hope no grace
    you'll never get away
    living with the truth of death
    it's just a breath away





    Submitted on 2005-07-25 12:47:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      When I read it plays like a movie in my mind. I really seen her broken and haunted by what her actions caused. Really like this poem..
    | Posted on 2008-11-11 00:00:00 | by 3TOMANY | [ Reply to This ]
      another example of why i am stalking you.. i think you are one hell of a writer.. amazing how the things we feel come out on paper.. very good.. thanks for letting be a stalker..
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Justmenow14 | [ Reply to This ]
      oh thanx 4 explainin what it was about cuz in all seriousness u lost me. it was a really cool poem and i could feel the emotion. i just didn't get what u were trying 2 say.
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this was wonderful. What a nice poem. I was able to follow along just fine. The imagery was great. And I loved the flow. I can feel the pain with everyword. Nicely done.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks for the comment, nice interpretation, it has several layers of meanings, but the first is about a woman cheating on her husband, and her and her lover killing him, but it also explains the way it haunts her through life.
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      that was rather good. i can't decide whether its the story of a person who is still venting about a bad relationship or of a person who has taken control of his life after being let down and is seeing things through the right perspective.. it just makes it more interesting for me. though the rhyme scheme was a little confusing the piece has a rhythm to it.. quite cool..
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah yes, the cheater's heart. Much like Poe - the guilt is going to be the true death of the cheater. That's what I got out of it? I thought the rhyming was pretty good and it seemed to flow well. I liked, "i heard the sound
    of lovers broken truth
    the cuts will soon
    reveal the wound
    gagged and bound in doom."
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite a powerful ending "living with the truth of death it's just a breath away". Beautiful words, and once again, I find myself in envy of your writing. Another close-to-classic yet complete original. Efficacious description.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    67978

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Love written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Cover written by saartha
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry