Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Odddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: acommoncold
    ASL Info:    23/M/WI
    Elite Ratio:    5 - 78/87/22
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 623
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 530



    Description:
       I am no longer religius in anyway, this poem was about a certain event. Throw in some drama and what nots then you get the idea. I took the "event" and made it into a rather dark humor poem.

    Once again this poem is a very very very very darkened humorous poem. So once again take it as you will.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOdddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ive thought of suicide in many ways
    But none felt better, than that of gun
    To end my coming days

    Forgot what triggered my want of death
    My mind, was confused, abused
    And I sat there hugging the gun to my chest

    Pressed the barrel upwards, to my mouth shaking
    I was going to go through with it
    I knew my life was for the taking

    Pulled the trigger CLICK
    A dud bullet and I screamed Oh God
    Odd though, because Im agnostic




    Submitted on 2005-07-25 15:38:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yes yes this lovely poem, you should really come up with a name for it, you could call it "oh god" or odd, something, ok back to the form. there are no spelling errors the flow rocks! (just kidding don't get mad) you have a very blunt meaning for this poem, and i'd have to say my favorite stanza would be

    "Pulled the trigger CLICK
    A dud bullet and I screamed Oh God
    Odd though, because Im agnostic"

    one because you just hate religion so much and because you are still alive.

    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      'Ive thought of suicide in many ways
    But none felt better, than that of gun
    To end my coming days"

    wow...is gun seriously a good way of killing your self?
    well, i guess because it's faster...but this poem...is ok...i think i like your other poems better though...they have more meaning.

    you were
    hugging the gun to your chest? how gross! jk
    that's a cool picture though...i've watched too many movies and i know what that look like.
    i admit i don't know what "agnostic" means.
    maybe because i'm pacific islander.
    but i didn't get the humor either so i apologize.
    thank you for the poem!

    -fearless
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, maybe ur NOT agnostic?? Ah well, just a guess...
    I like this poem though because of the way you pulled the readers in with a clear step by step description of your suicide intent, just to crack us up with the last line. At least, to me, it was funny...All that suspense and tension we built up - it would have been funny enough just to read that the bullet turned out to be a dud, but that last line was mint. Very good poem - I liked it... cher
    | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by Inducted_Kitty | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    68012

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Records I written by Raphael
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    prison written by ShyOne
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry