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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Processiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brwnsknsam05
    ASL Info:    32/F/ Cuba
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 399/440/103
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 918
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1377



    Description:
       Read it all the way through and you tell me what you think its about. The ending gives it away but only if you've read the beginning to go with it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Processiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    She lied to her
    Auburn hair
    Blowing in the wind
    Fog covering her face
    And she lied to her
    Fades of blacks and whites
    Wedding colors
    On a deserted altar
    And she lied to her
    Waiting…
    Not for the moment
    Nor the time
    But for reality
    And she lied to her
    Shell shocked…and emotion driven
    She lied to her
    To those…
    Angel eyes
    Auburn hair
    Manila skin
    And she lied to her
    Markers stated the location
    All around…
    Glistening stone walls
    With angel guards
    Whispering…
    The chosen to sleep
    With a silent lullaby
    And she lied to her
    Speckled face
    Crowded stage
    On lookers
    And she lied to her
    Peered in her
    Rain streaked face
    And lied to her
    Misty eyes
    Stared at the beautiful sight
    Surrounded this concert
    And as the Minister spoke the vowels
    She lied to her
    Flowers wilting
    Being thrown as their
    Unspoken wish
    A silent honeymoon goodbye
    And she lied to her
    Auburn wishes faded
    Misty eyes sought…
    Answers
    As the casket married the earth
    The child understood…
    “It’s going to be alright.”
    She said
    She lied to her




    Submitted on 2005-07-25 15:41:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this. It reminds me of a poem by Amanda twine. One of my favorite authors. A mother who told her child everything would be alright when she was dying. The big lie. The words really bring you into the poem even before you get to the end if you really listen to what your reading. I'm adding this to favorites.
    Let me know if you ever change anything, though i hope you don't.
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by WandWielder | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    68013

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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