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    dots Submission Name: At The Gatedots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2778/1297/258
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 632
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385

       This was written during the warmest days of summer when the heat enveloped me in a drowsy cocoon. It felt so warm it was cool, so I wrote this decription of that sensation.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAt The Gatedots

    What do you think of
    when you're sitting alone
    and the air is still
    cool as a question
    waiting to be formed?

    Is it in this moment
    time stops
    movement ceases
    faith in detached
    sensation increases?

    Is this what is felt
    in the altered state
    or beyond the power
    to elucidate?

    Submitted on 2005-07-25 21:35:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the write until the very last line, which was very awkward and contrived rhyme. You shared a poignant place in time.
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      it makes me think of the pains of leaving alone..cold out and quiet.

    good one, if i was a writer i would prolly say somthing great.
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by happy | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this.. simple straight to the point and it made you feel those sensations.. i really enjoyed this little peice of yours:)
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by rocknpoetrychik | [ Reply to This ]
      did you mean faith IS detached? thought provoking...i'll try to remember next time this happens to me:

    What do you think of
    when you're sitting alone
    and the air is still
    cool as a question
    waiting to be formed?

    then i'll let you know...lol seriously, that's a nice piece...short and to the point

    dylanpoe's girl
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]

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