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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Weakeningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Podenco del infierno
    ASL Info:    19/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 205/195/38
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 880
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824



    Description:
       It is about feeling weak...and feeling that there is one person who can help you, but they don't realize you need help...i guess....

    I don't think i like it very much...well, what do you think of it?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWeakeningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am tired.
    Sick of this life.
    In the mirror,
    I see myself...
    So full of shame.
    The tears slide down my face.
    Where is the light?
    Why is my life forever hidden in darkness?
    Where is your face...?
    Your embrace...?
    Hold me tight.

    I am tired.
    Sick of this life.
    Blood drips to the floor...
    So slowly,
    This curse kills me.
    So slowly,
    My will breaks.
    Where is the guidance I seek?
    Where is the light I need to follow?
    I need your soft face...
    Your precious touch.

    I am tired.
    Ready to give up.
    And everyday that passes,
    I grow weaker.
    My time here runs short.
    Please help me.
    And allow me to see your face once more.




    Submitted on 2005-07-26 11:34:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There's not much i can say about this.
    I can't give you an opinion.
    I can relate to it to easily for me to comment.
    Perhaps its teenage angst?
    Perhaps its just something us writers share... these emotions...
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]
      i understand all of the above.
    and i understand the apparent need to use the I word - because it is about you...
    you might find that you can generate even more misery and angst by carefully removing yourself from the narrative:

    fatigue-induced sickness:
    of life
    and shame looks back from a tear-streaked mirror...

    and so on.

    the images are strong if not a little bit hackneyed and predictable and I guess the real art in this pottery game is to deliver something that simultaneously brings a lump to the front - and back of your pants...

    easy when said quickly.

    but the challenge is to lose your reader in the idea, not in the search for the answers to all those questions - you're supposed to provide at least one of them. it's good manners...

    take it easy,
    K
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      Ya know I think everyone feels these feelings at some point in their life. Especially during the teen years when life is hard. There are too many demands and not enough rewards during this time in life and parents are a hassle many times. You feel like an adult yet nobody else sees you that way. It is like being stuck and waiting for things to change. On a brighter note things do change. Life gets harder, but it also gets better too! And this poem speaks of one person that you are in need of, perhaps a female that you love. I wonder if you confide your feelings to her. Let her in and help her to understand how you feel. You express your feelings very well through your writings and I am wondering if you share these with someone who is close to you. I have found that having that one person in life that is in tune with you can make all the difference in the world! Anyway, I enjoy reading your writings! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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