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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let You Godots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: manderz_1207
    ASL Info:    15/f/mi
    Elite Ratio:    5.45 - 95/109/38
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1017



    Description:
       I actually wrote this as a song but technically it's a poem too. So I thought Id post it. Enjoy and let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet You Godots
    -------------------------------------------


    I saw you standing next to her,
    It brough a tear to my eye.
    I couldn't help but see you there,
    just walking on by.

    You didn't even notice me,
    I didn't even get a hi.
    You looked like you were into her,
    and ya passed me on by.

    Yet I can't seem to let you go.
    Cuz everytime your here with me,
    my heart just says no,
    that I can't seem to let you go.
    Still ya move on by,
    every single time.

    Today is just another day,
    that I can't have you by my side.
    Cuz everytime I look at you,
    I know that you don't want me by your side.
    Can't stand to feel this pain you bring,
    the pain you've caused my life.

    Yet I can't seem to let you go.
    cuz everytime your here with me
    my heart just says no,
    that I can't seem to let you go.
    Still ya move on by,
    every single time.




    Submitted on 2005-07-26 13:05:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It is certainally a hurtful experiance for teenagers to live through. it does get better, life does go on. Trust in family and friends to help you. As far as a poetry piece, it needs work. The metre and and structure make it difficult to read. I see the words and I feel your emotion, however it does little to move the reader. Not bad for a 15 yr old and please do not let my simple critique's stop you from writing. use it as a catalyst to improve. you obviously have talent just channel it and write your heart out.

    your friend
    ben
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem moves me alot. i feel pity for this girl... though she realises that she is not wanted.. or atleast is not the first preference she is so hung up on they guy that she cant let go.
    i think the most important thing about a poem is that it should have an emotional impact on people.. the scale is of no relevance... you have definately achieved that here.
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot. Its like when your not with him you tell yourself to move on and forget him, and then with your with him you can't help but still want him. I can somewhat relate to this. Very nice job, and by the way thank you for the comment. ^_^ ~Kelly
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by MurphyGirl44 | [ Reply to This ]


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