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    dots Submission Name: Yours To Takedots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 780

       I wrote this for a guy... the same guy i always write about. I love him so much but he hurt me just recently and now I don't want to care... but I do. And it hurts me so badly.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYours To Takedots

    Why is the world,
    Cruel to me?
    Whu won't it just,
    Leave me be?

    What is it I,
    Don't understand?
    Tell me, Love,
    Whats your command?

    I know that I,
    Love you so much.
    I just can't live,
    Without your touch.

    Say you love me,
    And I won't cry.
    Say you hate me,
    Just let me die.

    So many nights,
    I lie awake.
    Please have my heart,
    Its yours to take.

    If you hate me,
    I'll understand.
    And if you need me,
    Its here, I'll stand.

    I'll always love you,
    Please don't forget.
    All the wrongs I've done,
    I do regret.

    Submitted on 2005-07-27 14:47:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think the fault is in me...causei just don't like poems that rhyme all that much...but I like this one...in fact I love it! Keep it up dahlin!
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      this is more of a crying windcharm slowly moving down the steps / i like how the inter-emotion turns with every step the poem takes . as it takes off for the final stanz i think that could have been left out or reworded ...

    | Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it, it has a smoothe flow. The feelings you put can easily be related to. I'm not sure what to say, maybe it could improve, maybe not, but i like it the way it is. take care
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      This almost brings tears to my eyes because I have gone through a situation like this...

    I think It's well written but to me it seems like the begining has a bit of a different beat. The first stanza has the same meter but it seems to flow differently... But that's just me...

    Good job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this...it was fairly simple but real and honest...I know how you feel and I'm sorry that you went through this...unless you guys are still together...this literally brought tears to my eyes-which oddly enough used to be more rare lol. anyway awesome write..I look forward to reading more of urs soon.
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

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