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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Moonlit Dancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: melancholystar
    ASL Info:    17/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    4.53 - 598/302/32
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 336
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 782



    Description:
       I wrote this very late at night a few weeks ago. I'm not sure what sparked it. Enjoy. :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Moonlit Dancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    He found her dancing in the moonlight,
    Just twirling through the trees,
    He asked her if she could fly,
    She told him she could dream.

    He smiled then he took her hand,
    And they danced the night away,
    When the morning had come,
    He told her he couldn’t stay.

    She embraced him tightly,
    And he kissed her on the hand,
    He told her they would meet again,
    Then said, “You’ll understand.”

    Several days later,
    As she was lying in the grass,
    She stared up at the sky,
    And saw a bird gracefully pass.

    She smiled to herself,
    As she was looking way up high,
    Last night she had flown with him,
    From now on she could fly.




    Submitted on 2005-07-27 15:34:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This prose makes a very vivid, almost Midsummer Night's Dream image in my head as I read it. I like the fantasy-like surrealism in it and it definetly makes me want to read a lot more of your writing! ^_^
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by RumnMoxie | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it. It gave me faery tale images. The begining was the best part i think. That is what brought me the most images. Well i thought i was very good.
    ~peace~
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by cannibal | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS IS GOING ON MY FAV.
    When you said enjoy you really did mean that. I think is was one of the best poems I;ve read in a while. It really did move me and I must praise it. I wouldn't change a thing about it perfect begining and perfect ending.

    GREAT GREAT GREAT WRITE
    l.l.collins
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by L.L.COLLINS | [ Reply to This ]
      love is so magical. i love this. you made me feel as though i was that girl, and i thank you for it. it flowed and brought everything it needed to be easy and fun along with deep and meaningful. i don't know what else to say other than bravo. excellent work.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      ...magical...whimsical...very nice. you did a good job of capturing a wishful feeling w/o making it..."gooey" lol if you get what im saying. great piece

    dylanpoe's girl
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice Brooke. I loved reading this and the faraway dreamy beauty it depicts.

    Not sure why, but this line I really liked... "He asked her if she could fly, She told him she could dream."

    This poem is lovely.. it has a sort of Peter Pan/Wendy feel to it...but it has more than that really... it seems more delicate.

    Quite enjoyable!

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it. It envokes more than one emotion which is nice. It haflows very simply, but it doesn't seem childish. Very nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by Lady Ankou | [ Reply to This ]



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