[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Mystic Storedots

    Author: Munchie_1226
    ASL Info:    25/F/E.STL
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 1831/1834/185
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 696


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMystic Storedots

    Here’s some potion poured in this glass,
    It will quickly remove all your past.
    Will you sip? … Or will you pass?

    Here’s a candle, capable of shining bright.
    This will turn all dark to light.
    Here’s a flame…Will you ignite?

    Here’s a pen, it can give glory.
    It will remove any, or all quarry.
    Will you pick it up…and tell your story?

    Here’s a flower with a magical smell.
    It’ll cause your love life, to excel.
    Will you allow the aroma to work its spell?

    All these things, I lay before you.
    You can only choose, one not two.
    Which one will you choose to pursue?

    Submitted on 2005-07-27 16:14:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was very nice. I enjoyed read this one. Personally I would definitely choose the potion. There are some things in my past that I would love to lose and move on with my life. But alas no such potion does exist, at least to my knowledge.

    Keep the good work and take care.


    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      OOOOOOO...can i have the pen??????

    how MUCH?????

    awwwwwww...he.ll naw, i dont need it THAT bad!


    i really liked this one. this was very unique turn you took here...soooo what do they mean??? is there some significance in what we chose???
    or are you waiting to see if i steal this pen?? LOL

    nice write li li!

    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool. I really like this. Sounds like it could be included in a really intereesting story. It sounds so much like a real advertisement. Even if this isn't part of something larger, a lot of people have wished for the things your magic shop will let them do (i forget the past, become famous, etc.). If I only had to choose one. . . I'm not sure which I'd pick. I'm not too interested in fame and glory, so that one's out; and my past made me. . . well, me, so tha't out too. So do I wan't to remove darkness from the world or would I like something to better my writing? I guess I'd have to choose the remove darkness option-not because I think I don't need help w/ my writing (God knows that I do), but if all the sorrow and anger (and the rest of the "dark" emotions) were gone the world would be a much better place, I guess. Good job w/ this; it'll definitely make people think.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      BRILLIANT! This was yet another great write. I dont know what I would pick...does the love one come with unconditional love in return? Cuz I hate that one sided love stuff, ya know? As a prospective buyer, thats the only question I ask before I would buy. Very unique write and very thought provoking. I liked it. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece reflects our daily life, the choice between the one and other and what to do with it...very intriguing

    i like this:
    Here’s a candle, capable of shining bright.
    This will turn all dark to light.
    Here’s a flame…Will you ignite?

    how many do you think will choose to ignite? n see what is really out there? to see each others true colors? i think ppl are too comfortable to risk it? what do you think? ... :-)

    dylanpoe's girl
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a great piece. It was so uniqe and the all went great together. The words seemed to fit just right. I got into it so much.

    I really like the first stanza. I really like the third one too. The last stanza ends it really good.
    Great job...keep on writing...cuase i love reading.

    P.s. did i ever tell you you have gouregous hair :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this fast paced piece...not only was it different from your other forms of writing but it was also unique...

    let's see...I can only chose one? can't i get the homie hook up?no? okay then...*bits lip while thinking...*

    I chose the candle...You can never have too much light...

    My past I dont want to forget or wipe clean, after all its made me what i am (though I'm not sure thats good)

    I dont need love...at least not for sometime and when i do get it I want it to come to me in purity not by a spell...

    and the pen? well...maybe I'm just not ready to tell my full story yet ;)

    yo sista from the otha mista
    Tina aka Tink aka Taynah :D
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      The first verse made me think of the matrix - red or blue. - make your choice.

    2nd verse - light normally brings out the things we try to hide - or conceal - from ourselfs - or others

    3rd - sign of truth - are we willing to risk it, nice one

    4th - interesting image - bringing a flower to love - again 1 i'm a guy i'll never understand it. - but yea.

    5th - life choice - great touch

    - like the way you leaded the person into the poem, but stil - I liked it.

    Keep it up

    Light is defenitely the way.

    Kind regards
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by bornx2000 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey lili i looked this, it kinda showed your vodoo side of life :) makes me think if you aint a vodoo queen from down in my neck of the woods you know what i mean, but yeah it kinda gives people the incentive to wanna do something like the part of picking up the pen and telling your story there are so many people in life that would benifet from that good write enjoyed it
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Candle please?

    This is an absolutely wonderful piece. You took a very interesting topic and made it perfect. I love this!

    I have only one small tiny suggestion. Its nothing really, just me being picky. In your last three stanzas your put this pause in your second line:

    "It’ll cause your love life, to excel."

    That comma^. Just personally, I think it reads better the whole line through, but its your piece and I love it so it really doesnt matter.

    This my friend, is def. a fav. I'm only sorry I couldnt give you a better comment.

    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]