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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Manifesto Secretdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lee Minsu
    ASL Info:    20/Male/Seoul
    Elite Ratio:    4.61 - 101/96/27
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 290
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 588



    Description:
       Last night


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsManifesto Secretdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Are you sure we can do this?
    I'm afraid of what they'll say
    Their comments
    Their whispers
    They cannot know or even concieve
    I have a reputation to uphold
    Innocence, supposedly, unbroken
    But it feels so good
    I'm about to burst
    This feeling
    So Deep
    So Primal
    So Erotic
    From my mouth and eyes
    Down my spine
    Alert all senses
    How good it feels to be
    Above
    Inside
    All around your body
    I am addict to this drug
    I am addicted to you




    Submitted on 2005-07-27 16:18:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think you did a good job with this. It was brief and to the point. Unlike the others, this one was more surface in feelings...you did not go deep with thoughts and feelings. Very good chose of words and a kick ass flow.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that you should describe what this is about...i think i know after reading "i kiss in protest" but it would still, i think, bring greater apreeciation to this piece from other people.

    this is what i am going through right now..except you have more courage to face your fears head on. i hope it worked out alright.

    i found this piece wonderful. nothing to change. in the morning i am going to come back and read more of your stuff.

    xoxox
    me
    p.s. check out some of my pieces
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by 2Numb | [ Reply to This ]
      What i like about this is the long lines then shorter lines . . .kinda makes me think of you wanting to explain all these emotions but your lust overwhelms you therefore you can only utter short phrases:
    "So Deep
    So Primal
    So Erotic"
    Aint we all trying to masks ourselves with "innocence", its wickedly nice doing these naughty things though. Well written, not that explicit (i loooooove rare), regardless i loved it.

    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. It was very simple yet full of so much meaning. You gave such a great inside view here. You really exposed some raw inner feelings. I can't help but hold my breath as I read it. WOW! Go ahead boy! Show your talent!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]



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