Walking along the beachy sand,
Walking along hand in hand.
Thinking back to long ago.
When i was five and she was four.
But time has past and how we've grown.
I cannot live my life alone.
I Know no-one can see you there.
But i can feel you , your breaths in my hair.
For 60 years you we're my life.
What will i do my precious Wife?
I close my eyes and drift away.
I'll join you there and together we'll stay.
| I really liked this. It shows how love can be timeless. And never ending. It had a very smooth flow to it. It was also short and sweet. For being so short it also said so much. It really amazes me how people can say so much in such few words. Your great at writting and i'm going to go check out some of your other posts now. |
|| Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ] || Elaine, this is seriously nice, and a real phenomenon.|
Many couples seem to pass on within a few months of each other, as one dies, the other seems to lose the will to live without them.
very well done, could have easily been longer, it was so enjoyable.
|| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ] || Timeless, endless, forever Love. How precious a thing.. if only more could find and hold on to it. I guess we all dream of a love like that. A love that stands the test of time. And wow, 60 years together.. can you imagine? Well, I guess you can, you wrote about it so beautifully here.|
I loved this line > "I Know no-one can see you there. But i can feel you , your breaths in my hair" < just lovely!
I very much enjoyed this.
|| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ] || Awwww! Elaine, this is soooo lovely! What a beautiful heartfelt poem! Yeah, I could dream of a lifelong love too but unfortunately I think it would be just that...a dream! Can't fault us for hoping and dreaming though right!? This poem just describes a lifetime of love from beginning to end and all is so elegant...even in death as they are reunited again! Really good romantic poem here...really good! Take care!|
|| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] || This work speaks of true love...timeless. I very much enjoyed reading this...My parents have been married for 58 yrs now, every since they were kids practically...my mother has months to live now...I see my father feeling this way upon her death. |
|| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ] || Aw this was really sweet. It was short and simple but it had so much feeling packed into such few words, which l like a lot! I hope one day I can find love like that...*Sigh* Anyways this was awesome!||| Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by MurphyGirl44 | [ Reply to This ] || Awwww...how sweet...reminds me of my "ex-coworkers" wife and her husband...six months after he passed, so did she...now that is friggin' love, ya know? This was exceptionally written and brought a tear to my eye...good stuff maynard...good stuff. Have a good one and keep smilin'||| Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ] || This puts me in my mind of my grandmother & grandfather - now together again - you touch on such a "sweet" love - an everlasting love here. Not a whole lot of that around today|
It touches on the first falling in love, the heartache of being apart, and the joy of being together again - death coming so peacefully for a patient soul waiting to be joined again with their soulmate - BEAUTIFUL
|| Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ] || fresh and smooth...like some good bailey's and a good book.... simply phrased, comforting and familiar....a lil too sweet for your own good though...you may come acroos as a carbon copy of well known feeling....still a nice write.|
|| Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by grigori | [ Reply to This ] || besides some spelling and grammar everything was fine. you have a great way of making everything fit so well. your rhyming and flow was completely on point the entire time, and for me i can't do it on purpose unless it'll sound like an elementary school rhyme. haha. but you deffinantly put a lot of maturity into such a simple rhyme structure. good job. <3||| Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by cre_dia | [ Reply to This ] |