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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Marionettedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2779/1297/258
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 577
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 603



    Description:
       This actually began as a commentary on the frustration of creating something that doesn't quite satisfy. This begged the question, "What if God were as demanding a perfectionist as I am?" This is the result .


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMarionettedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I slit the skull
    pound in the eyes
    gouge a mouth
    form ears from scraps
    lace filaments for hair
    teach the lips to smile
    give the clay mind wit
    teach the articulate ape
    to cohabit among tribes
    just alike;
    would it profane
    its place,
    in pure streams
    deficate?
    boil in seething ennui
    delivering dreams
    to hate?

    So? I would have
    laughed at it
    if I hadn't pitied it more:
    cast down before it came to life
    to the hell it was intended for.




    Submitted on 2005-07-27 21:30:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a really great piece. Aren't we all glad God's not a perfectonist? You've really got something w/ this; it'll make a lot of people think (myself included) which is always a good thing. Great job. Sorry I don't have any suggestions for improvement.
    J
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      very powerful , i'm getting a sense of not wanting to be such the pefectionist you are maybe just wanting to be free of it for a little while , but you wouldnt be the person you are and i sometimes wish i was more like that so things got finished and i didnt have such a layed back look at life , but then i think i'm who i am and i wouldnt be me without it.

    great job got me thinking
    take care
    Lainie x
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]


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