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    dots Submission Name: The Cracking of the Maskdots

    Author: poppa jon
    ASL Info:    44 /m /N.E.
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 34/46/8
    Words: 332
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1106
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2173

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Cracking of the Maskdots

    Innocence of youth,
    All to quickly fades.
    Thrust into a world of pain.
    Fight against the Rage!

    Fight against the rage!

    Fight to hide the hurt !
    The sorrow , shame and fear !
    Learn to hide the feelings.
    From a world that does not care.

    My Thoughts all scream out WEAKNESS!!
    Do not let them see!
    Control, always ,the emotions.
    This child is not me.

    CRUSH the little child !
    Who would show the world my pain!
    Deny the hurt and agony,
    The rage and anger reign!

    Those who try to love me,
    Will come to know my Pain !
    I wear a mask of many facets,
    Until the rage Explodes again!!

    I lash out with a vicisousness !
    That causes Loves demise.
    None are ever strong enough,
    To save what I despise !

    There is a Burning ,Raging, Fire
    In the center of my soul.
    The child that lay sleeping,
    Has awoken in the cold!

    To rise up in this world.
    Feel the deepest pain!
    Old wounds I must reopen.
    To purge the poisons they contain.

    Then there is the chance to feel,
    Growing through the tears.
    Once again to feel the happiness.
    Buried deep beneath the years.

    Oh, to know the feelings.
    Express them without shame !
    In the course of living,
    To grow without refrain.

    For life is ever changing,
    Not always pain or fear.
    There is beauty all around .
    I must Strive to bring it near !

    Rarely ever knowing,
    A life without such pain.
    No chance for simple happiness.
    Hurting ,time and time again.

    Denying any joy I found.
    Never trusting it was real.
    Fighting with the rage inside !
    Never showing how I feel.

    Now the mask is Cracking !!
    My Feelings start to show !
    I can bask in these Emotions !
    Finding the peace i've longed to know !

    Submitted on 2005-07-28 06:02:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      great job showing the dangers in bottling up your emotions-I actually do that, so I can relate. I love how this is about practically everyone on the planet and just you at the same time. The word choice and flow of the piece are both excellent. The only things I would change are "too" instead of "to" in the first stanza, and "weakness" instead of "weekness" in the third. overall, this is an excellent piece; definitely a fav.
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      You seem to have a way of explaining things very clearly. We all have to go through our pains of life, no matter what they are. They may be brought on by others or self effected however, It doesn’t seem to matter they are lessens. You show great emotions in this piece. I think it shows what it's like to leave the innocence of youth and move into the maturity of adulthood. .. Maybe even birth pains.. To find out who we truly
    are inside. Great Work.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]
      I understood what you meant in your piece..I feel the same way, I liked the way it flowed, but I also think it could use a bit more detail. Keep at it.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]
      this write flowed very well..but I'm not really sure what it's about. advice, take it or leave it but maybe you should have more details.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by pinkband_aid | [ Reply to This ]

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