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Til' the end of before


Author: Big_Bill789
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 329 /370 /119
Words: 215
Class/Type: Lyrics /Misc
Total Views: 1146
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1312



Description:


A song I wrote
It has a melody with it
You just kind of have to feel it
Thanks for reading.


Til' the end of before



I’m on my way home
Looking at the stars
Staring at all I know

I found the path
To the way I came
But I never wanted to

I remember a name
That made me love
A long time ago

And I’m gonna start again
To make an end
To all the teardrops
At my door

Now I got a bag on my shoulder
And some money in my pocket
But it never really matters
At all

I found a reason to keep livin’
And I never want to lose it
I’m holding on
To a long lost love

Oh, I found my way back home
And I’m sitting in an alley
With a pocket comb

All I have- is luck
And even then all I’ve got
Is a couple of bucks

So take me to the river
And build me a boat

Sail me along
Hope I’ll stay afloat

I know it’s a long way
But I just don’t care
I’d swim past the stars
To get away from despair

I’ll see you when I see you
But I’ll be-
Drifting til’ I see you
And I’ll be waiting
By your door

Til the end—
Til the end
Of before




Submitted on 2005-07-28 06:14:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Nicely done, however I probally woould like it better set to music. As a poem it is somewhat difficult to get the rythem. But then again I am just a dumb ole poet wanna be. There are alot of good bits in it especially those already mentioned.

your friend
ben
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
  I could get kind of a bluesy/country feel for this song and I thought it had a good lyrical format.
"So take me to the river
And build me a boat

Sail me along
Hope I’ll stay afloat

I know it’s a long way
But I just don’t care
I’d swim past the stars
To get away from despair"

I particularly enjoyed this part. Great job!

Love,Peace,Joy!
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  this was very well written,
i liked it alot.
though im sure it would sound better with music.
still very soothing and easy to read.

'I know it’s a long way
But I just don’t care
I’d swim past the stars
To get away from despair

I’ll see you when I see you
But I’ll be-
Drifting til’ I see you
And I’ll be waiting
By your door'

my favorite part.
very well done-
jennifer
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
  I’d swim past the stars
To get away from despair

i love this line. it has so much heart and soul in it ./. great visual. for me it brings the whole poem together ./. didn't get the melody that much ../. could just be me . other then that great job!
JWI
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]
  This is really great. I wish I could hear the melody but I guess I'll have to use my imagination (although this could make it worse because I have no musical intuition). But what I like about your work is that it's not structured like the cliché song-verse, chorus, verse, chorus, etc. It's unpredictable, with a storyline shared between feelings and actions that is very complex. The style reminds me of Hootie and the Blowfish lyrics (I dont know how you'd take that, but I'm a fan so I mean it as a compliment).

I’ll see you when I see you
But I’ll be-
Drifting til’ I see you
And I’ll be waiting
By your door

This is my favorite part. It's like you're trying to leave the situation up to fate, but at the same time you're hoping to strongly influence the outcome.
Well this is definitely a favorite. Awesome job.
PS. The only part I'm not quite feeling is "I’d swim the whole ocean" because it seems like that is overused in poetry and songs. I'd feel it more if you thought of a more original extreme action. :) Either way, I love it.
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Luckyduck | [ Reply to This ]


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