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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Soft Paradedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2779/1297/258
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 670
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 550



    Description:
       This is merely an observation that death is a predator that lovers ignore simply because pleasure is more powerful than mourning.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Soft Paradedots
    -------------------------------------------


    As you cradle me
    against your breasts
    twin testaments
    of peace, need
    is drawn away, so death
    becomes an
    unwelcome beast

    Among such plenty
    I am satisfied
    in a sea of flesh
    an unmapped
    tract of wilderness
    as often as your
    climate may pool
    and bless, what
    we lack is a beast
    we'd sooner forget

    Then let us
    embrace
    drunk from
    the skulls
    of dead men
    as I kiss
    your face




    Submitted on 2005-07-28 10:49:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, "live for the moment" as carnal desire pushes aside everything else?

    Very enjoyable, "an unmapped tract of wilderness
    as often as your climate may pool and bless" was my favorite part, that's a hell of a way to put it.

    I like the way you write, although the signifigance of the "skulls" in the last escaped me.

    My only critique was the use of "beast" twice, seemingly to signify two seperate things, but O may be wrong.

    Nice, I'll be back

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      very interesting view.
    i really liked it and also your form.
    wording was really well done,
    easy to read yet made you want to dig deeper.
    im not sure what else to say.
    a very enjoyable read and also made you think.
    made you look at things a little differently-
    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      you are obviously a very expirienced writer who has found a unique vehicle for your poems.

    your titles seem ambiguous...meaning they are only metaphorically the reason for the poem.

    it's interesting you used the title "The Soft Parade" which happens to be a solid Doors album and also the name of a song I have.

    great minds do think alike...you are an exceptioanl writer and i'd like to know what you think of some of my stuff.

    Demetrius
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by demetriusandrew | [ Reply to This ]


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