Description: it could be awfully dangerous to hide, you just might die (oh, it rhymes aswell!)
A Hollow Doll Hiding -------------------------------------------
shut your eyes
---they won’t see
fall on the bed
of surrealistic dreams
the feathers rain on your body
and you turn hollow
and it makes you cry
and makes you die
and you just have to feel
and the last time
oh the hollow doll,
now the window’s closed
the panic grows
[shut your eyes]
i dont think i've read a poem like yours before... i like it. Different first comes to mind obviously, but also, powerful. I have to say that im not as obvious to the feeling as slntfirflm seemed to be, but i got the message. I liked the way it was formatted, and the one word lines. Very nice.
oh my gosh your work is so creepy you have a talent here no doubt. i have this trapped feeling in this poem especially under the bed. i dont like dolls myself that might make me biased to the horror of it. the "they wont see" is also haunting as well. *shudders* i like it though being scared and timid keeps a person alive. mike :)
well i personally like this piece. the way you wrote it gives it mystery. i write pieces like this all the time and people are always like it doesnt give enough information to what its about yet i think mystery always gives poetry something extra. my favorite lines is where is says
fall on the bed of surrealistic dreams and weed the feathers rain on your body unreal
i think this part has the most emotion in the poem. and i can actually imagine feathers falling on me. and just that one word unreal it stands out saying how everything is so unreal. great write.
hiding is a powerful human desire. during times of humiliation, stress, and depression, we tend to want to retreat to a hidden world where we can "die" in some way. you've done an extraordinary job with the imagery and emotion here. as always, your words magnificently represent a very realistic aspect of society's mentality. great work, girlie! it's wonderful to see you writing again.
hugs and hidden worlds of love, ~*dark_and_dreary*~