[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Eeny Meeney Miney Modots

    Author: _taateli_
    ASL Info:    18/F/Finland
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 84/113/29
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1037
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 407

       something extremely bizarre, it's supposed to gove you that "huh?"-feeling i got after reading this after writing it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEeny Meeney Miney Modots

    eeny meeny miney mo
    which one is first to go?
    a body on the grass
    breathing so fast
    kinda in sleep (what does it mean?)
    a kurt cobain lying on the floor
    a scent of powder in the air
    (though I donít really care)
    a father hanging from a rope
    flinging his feet
    tongue in his cheek
    eeny meeny miney mo
    which one is first to go?

    Submitted on 2005-07-28 16:45:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      oooh, tongue in cheek...
    is it a swollen tongue?
    even better...
    a shotgun shell...
    execution-style lineup...
    a sick twist on an unassuming children's game...
    like an executioner who plays at his job like a game...
    singing in his head...
    or rather, a string of unrelated suicides...
    yet all intertwining-
    your work is so versatile.
    | Posted on 2006-10-30 00:00:00 | by Syn | [ Reply to This ]
      ugggh hanging with tongue in cheek I get a bad vision with that. very awfully nice ha ha. little cutesy throughout maybe even makes it more sinister like "ring around the rosies" i like it even more now that i have thought about that. very good write, mike :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      i have to agree with wanda on this piece. i sense suicide in this piece when you said a kurt cobain lying on the floor. i liked the way this piece is written.

    a kurt cobain lying on the floor
    a scent of powder in the air

    that gives strong meaning in the poem. i can visualize someone on the floor and aromas floating through the air.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by slntfirflm | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a dark piece. A lot of meaning can be read into it. I read the meaning of "suicide" since you list kurt cobain. Of course, let's not forget the poor soul hanging from the rope. Well, you gave that Huh, feel!lol. Anyway, its not a bad piece. Kind of short, but to the point.
    take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]