Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All this, for you?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: manderz_1207
    ASL Info:    15/f/mi
    Elite Ratio:    5.45 - 95/109/38
    Words: 215
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 720
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1132



    Description:
       Just started writing. Originally it was different but screwed up so it ended this way.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAll this, for you?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Itís time to move on, I try to tell myself.
    Enough is enough, why wonít my heart just be free?

    Why must I be the one left here,
    with wide-open wounds for all to see?
    While heís off just living very happy.
    Happily as can be with, as we know,
    no thoughts of me.

    Why canít I be happy?
    I tell myself to drop it, that Iím not what he wants.
    Yet part of me wonít let go and itís torture.

    How does a person not want to think or like a person and yet they do?
    Why is this what weíre put through?
    All this for what?

    To come home after a long day
    and not know what heíd say.
    Of course none of that matters because heís not with you,
    but you still have that question floating through your brain.

    You still wonder what heís thinking all the time,
    why your not on his mind.
    To just let my mind be free,
    thatís all I ask of thee.
    Go away and donít come near me.
    Being near you makes me freeze,
    I donít want to feel that envy.




    Submitted on 2005-07-28 22:22:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good expression of the pain and anquish that you obviously feel. Well, lemme tell ya that you are not alone! I know how you feel! Sometimes there are those certain ones that you just love more than others that you have been with. It takes more time to get over it and it does feel like eternity. There are so many different feelings that you feel and anger is right up there! Once you get to the point where you are angry more often than sad, then you know you are on the mend. It sucks to think those things you have written about..."he doesn't think about me and he is out having fun"...but those thoughts will help you to stay angry to help you move on. Eventually you won't hurt anymore. You will get over it! Hang in there and keep writing! This is a good way to release! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that you chose being a teen for the category...This is all about being a teen. You will understand us men more as you get older. You sound like my ex-girlfriend. Try your best to get over him. Don't torture yourself like that. My ex did that and still is doing it even though she has a man to this day. Just let him go. You think he's the best? You;ll find someone 10 times better! Watch!

    X
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      I can totally relate. I JUST got over a guy that I liked for 2 years, but who NEVER liked me. For the past 6 months, I've been with an awesome guy, but even then, till just like 2 weeks ago, I couldn't let go of the other guy. It takes time, but it will happen. The main reason for me was meeting the guy I'm with now. Good luck!
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      I think a lot of us have felt like this before so we can relate. Good work on showing your emotions it makes the piece a dream to read. nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      nice work.. it can bring feelings out.. i agree with blindly though.. break off into stanzas the paragraph form feels like reading a story and not a poetic story.. and it will clean up the way it looks to the reader.. good otherwise
    ~*~amber~*~
    feel free to comment on one of mine i have many poems
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by rocknpoetrychik | [ Reply to This ]
      Through part of this i felt like I wanted to cry. I can relate more than anything to this poem.. EXCELLENT work...

    Advice... Break it off into stanzas.
    It will look nicer... atleast to me!
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      I really loved that last line and you had something great going here. It's another one that so many can relate to. Doesn't that just suck how so many can relate to the most painful stuff?! It's crazy!
    It's hard to let someone go and the more you try, the more they seem to stay.
    Either way, you put a lot of feeling into this and again, that last line was AMAZING in my opinion. It really shows just how deep the emotion in this piece truly runs.
    Great job! I will continue reading!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    68450

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry