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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dandelionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1139
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 461



    Description:
       This is inspired by the fact that the word dandelion is from the French for "tooth of the lion." I kind of like my bad grammar in this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDandelionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Heads of yellow lion's teeth
    are crouching on the lawn.
    Their color summons children.
    Will the children pluck the tops away
    for necklaces or bitter tea,
    or will their father's push mower chop off the heads,
    and make him think that the beast is dead?
    But this is just a pipe dream,
    for the beast shall never die,
    for ten grow in the place
    of every one you chop away.





    Submitted on 2004-01-09 12:22:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ha ha ha I love the chopping down the dandelion heads to grow ten more that is so cool. i read this work and i get memories of when i was younger blowing that little plant with the white seeds on it (im not good with plant names, do forgive me)and watching the seeds float away. that was a magical time in my life. thanks for the lovely read, mike
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Heads of yellow lion's teeth

    Love this imagery. Like the way you used "lion" to not say dandelion but rather present it to me.

    Are crouching on the lawn

    Crouching flowers now theres an image... I couldnt see flowers crouching but see how it relates to lions!

    Their color summons children
    Will the children pluck the tops away?
    For necklaces or bitter tea
    Or will their father's push mower chop off the heads?
    And make him think that the beast is dead
    But this is just a pipe dream
    For the beast shall never die
    For ten grow in the place
    Of every one you chop away

    I feel this part of the pice could be improved in that I feel metering was lost a bit.

    Or will their father's push mower chop off the heads?
    This line was difficult to read and doesnt seem quite right.

    I like that the colours summon the children!

    Kate xoxoox
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you should change the title back to "The Lawn Monster"... sounds more descriptive and interesting. It's like GRR! =^..^= I like this poem, and I always return to it, because it could be taken literally, or you could attribute a thousand metaphors to it... when you do a poetry book, put this one in. I think I'm replaced my "fave cuddledumplin poem" (I only usually have 1 per author) with this one... i dunno, it's just so striking.
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this too,-- funny how we can draw inspiration from the commonest things. I also wrote a poem about Dandies last summer...think I'll reread it now to stave off this winter chill for a few. Thank you
    | Posted on 2004-01-22 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice- the dandies are little beasts... can't crush them! I find the violence in the poem unique, cos i don't nornally associate flowers with violence. good effect i think. :)
    | Posted on 2004-01-10 00:00:00 | by hopefloats | [ Reply to This ]
      that is soooo true....... not that I care, our lawn is made up of weeds, so when we had a drought last year my yard was still green ~Cora
    | Posted on 2004-01-10 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      The clarity isn't there for me...i'm picturing children playing in the grass, and the father is chasing them with the mower....and the rest of it is beyond me...do i sound stupid?
    | Posted on 2004-01-09 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm afraid it's more of the second. I let my imagination get away with me one day. I originally called this "The Lawn Monster." It blows my mind how much time some people spend trying to kill them; I like the little buggers myself.
    | Posted on 2004-01-09 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


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