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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My head hanging low.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bluesoxz
    ASL Info:    16fohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 71/101/38
    Words: 361
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 885
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2018



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy head hanging low.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look up at the cloudy
    clouds and see my
    home.my head
    hanging low and blood
    Dripping off my wrist
    man I don't wanna
    go back there.So
    Abusive and mean.

    I retrace my foot
    steps and find out
    I am in hell..Nothing
    left to live for besides
    the air in my lungs.
    my veins pump what's
    left inside my heart
    Witch is not very much.
    Then I just end up
    dyeing not a big deal
    Just an other person to
    Add to the grave.

    my mind is so seductive
    and tempted.So shattered
    It lost its frame and the
    meaning to carry on.
    Forgot how to think
    Forgot how to feel
    And the doctor tells me
    Im ok.

    I walk this road with my
    head hanging low not
    knowing witch way im going
    To go.Hopeing its not
    back home but that's
    Where I always belong.
    Trapped in a house with
    A dad that does not give
    A fuck and a Mom that
    Is fucked.

    Storming inside my head
    All I hear is loud Bans
    And roars not knowing
    if its one of us getting tossed
    Around or if its really a
    Storm.So dark but light
    Surrounds me.
    So bright but darkness
    Sits within.

    Sucked in to the pain
    of others not knowing
    When to just walk away
    Then my heart folds on
    me then nothing more
    is said and the pain
    Increase and no
    Pain killers don't kill
    This.

    I walk down this road
    with my head hanging
    low not know where Im
    going but hoping its
    in your arms.Where its
    Safe and warm.
    So perfect
    Im not worth enough
    To have you but some how
    I got you.
    In your arms is where I
    Call home.





    Submitted on 2005-07-29 18:43:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      OH OH! P.S.>> i have to say that the 3rd stanza is my FAVORITE

    "my mind is so seductive
    and tempted.So shattered
    It lost its frame and the
    meaning to carry on.
    Forgot how to think
    Forgot how to feel
    And the doctor tells me
    Im ok. "


    i love love love "the doctor tells me im ok" (AWESOME!)

    ...and sacred_tears doesnt know what they are talking about..HOW IN GOD'S NAME CAN YOU NOT LIKE THAT LINE? "my mind is so seductive" PSH...that line...is perfect! nice work! <sarah>
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by bestdeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      HOLY CRAP! another amazing write! i think this one is very very very well written! I love the first couple of lines...(AWESOME STUFF)

    >I look up at the cloudy
    clouds and see my
    home


    well i would go on and pick out other fav lines...but lets see here...there isnt a line taht i dont like and this poem reminds me, of my life and my family and how my boyfriend seems to be that person who i can go to and where i can call home...

    all i can say is holy crap...it was amazing and something i can relate to...nice nice <sarah>
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by bestdeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that part doesn't fit. But I like how you break up your sentences, it's a very unique style of writing. I love the last stanza.Cause through the whole poem, you never mention being alone. The reader only assumes you are. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by HECATE_Sservant | [ Reply to This ]
      for the most part.. its ok.. the only part i dont liek is the line that says

    :"my mind is so seductive"

    it just doenst seem to fit.. and what exactly are Bans?
    other than that its ok
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]


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