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    dots Submission Name: public domaindots

    Author: amun
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 31/14/9
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 935
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 579

       sometimes love is not
    egalitarian, though it should be..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspublic domaindots

    I feed you, shark hungered in the night
    I awaken out of breath, feeling no rest
    unless Michael's cloak surrounds me
    only then do I sleep in heaven's peace.

    Brave illusion, you bid me
    prove my love every day
    then, for granted taken
    you over flowing
    pass riches around
    make ten-fold for your own
    but your emptiness is mine.

    Your rights to the sky are gone
    I can't feel you anymore
    only your emptiness recalled
    as I awake
    bone-suck tired.

    Submitted on 2005-07-29 21:47:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I dont know how I feel about this piece. The first and third stanza were both good, but you lost me on the second one. I guess it was the wording of it, but after rereading it four times, outloud, I still couldn't make heads or tails out of anything past the second line. Maybe I am just to tired... Anyhow, do you think you could jsut tell me the jist of that verse? I would like to read the piece again, once I know what I am reading, and then maybe recomment.
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by ebflannery | [ Reply to This ]

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