i was drawn to your piece because your title is about as cliché as one could hope to get. and that can work in such a way as to draw you to a piece, but at the same time if the piece is saying the same thing as the title it can be damaging.
i think that if you want to write about the void that you feel then that is your prerogative and you should be able to do that, but my advice would be just try a little to give it a personal touch. you could change the title so that it is not quite so obvious but has the same impact, so that it leads us to your piece without already thinking that we have seen your poem many times before. and this is important because our attitude to your piece before we read it can have bearing on how we view it as a whole.
and then you could keep the bulk of your piece if it is what you feel you want to tell the world, but i think you could look at words like emptiness [watch the spelling] and emotions and pain and rain and tears and you could also look at your rhyme of ears and tears and fingers and ringers and perhaps try to make them more individual to you and your situation. these are words/phrases/lines/rhymes that are very trite and thus it undermines the work you have put into this piece
i liked the consistancy in the first two stanzas but was a little distapointed in that last one you said "me" and alot to i guess compensate for the first three lines of rhyme but i still liked it.. as a matter of fact i do not think that you should change a bit of it... and i definetly got the point of this one... and your right it does cause a void... good write.. keep up the good work love and light Sheridaine Bloom Archer
Submission Name: This Void
