I am by caspian

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Submission Name: I am dots

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Author:	caspian
ASL Info:	23/m/Denmark
Elite Ratio:	2.31 - 134/188/56
Words:	90

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	594
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	565

Description:

I am

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I am

I am the earth
The midnight moon
The salty water in your eyes

I am the sky
The floating clouds
The distant rhythm from your heart

I am the tree
You gaze upon
The lilac flowers in the pond

I am the dawn
The setting sun
The night that hides you from their arms

I am the dream
you linger on
The fort you threw your trust upon

I am the singing winter wind

i AM

I am

Submitted on 2004-04-13 07:18:47 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I was thinking about this...and came back to read it again....I am adding it to favorites and let me tell you why....The line: "The salty water in your eyes"....It moved me to think that God is the tears I cry and that he is present even there...comforting.
| Posted on 2004-04-14 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
  The repetition is good here. Unlike a lot of other poems, I think there are enough lines that aren't repetitious to balance it out.
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  This is great...I like the omnipotent feeling...I AM!.....

Might want to correct the spelling of rhythm in the second stanza...typo.

I loved the uplifting feeling this gave to me.
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the repitition. Its very appropriate. Your words are so powerful. The images i got were breath taking. This was great!
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]
  Once again a great poem. I like the images. I like your work. I like how you seperated the stanzas for easy reading, and makes me wonder once again if this is a song.
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
  This is beautiful, the images that were within the poem, just gave me goose bumps, lol. I really do like it, my favorite part is the midnight moon, the salty water in your eyes, that really cool! It kind of reminds me of a song by Linkin Park, I am trying to think of the name, but its not coming to me, lol, I will have to get back to you on that, but anyway, nice job, I really liked this one!
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
  i really liked this poem it being about nature and feelings i loved the lines
I am the sky
The floating clouds
The distant rhytm from your heart
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by kellz | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a masterful way through Creation's many aspects to point to the Creator. The fort (fortress) reference tied it all together nicely.

Excellent!
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
  i really liked this. focusing the imagery on nature was great. i really liked the salty water in your eyes part, because for me, at least, i thought of the ocean. also with the lilacs in the pond, maybe i've never heard of them, but i'v never seen a lilac in a pond, so maybe you were thinking of lilly? but anyways, good write.
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by mallyland | [ Reply to This ]
  beautiful images. " I am the singing winter wind" is my favourite line. I can imagine it as a song but then the end doesn't fit so well in my opinion, but you're the songwriter, I only listen to songs.
anyway well done. I like it.
| Posted on 2004-04-13 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this very much and had several thoughts about it. One, while reading it, I never got the feeling of it being God, although on a second read I got that. I loved the unusual descriptive imagery ("The night that hides you from their arms", "The fort you threw your trust upon") but there were a few places where I thought that (on the first read I was thinking of it being a very intimate lover or something) though it's being described as part of 'you', really, being the things in you and around you, a few of the phrases suggested distance ("The distant rhythm from your heart"). Okay, after I reread ait again, of course it implies distance, but using heart and distant near each other implies distance from the heart which threw me out of the lovely natural imagery I'd been in. Other than that, I found this spectacular and moving - though normally it isn't the type - I like it.

~ Niphredil
| Posted on 2004-04-23 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
  What I liked about this--was the beautiful images connected Nature, spirit and human physical and emotional realms all together--it is a song of love--on many levels at once --an expression of the connectedness--oneness of all things.The repetiton works here --it gives the feeling of a litany of affirmations---strength and peaceful calm throughout.Good One , Silver
| Posted on 2004-04-23 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

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