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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladyngold
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 585/520/99
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1276
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 683



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    How many times can one’s heart break?
    I remember when my first born cried he hated me
    as my heart shattered.

    I remember the first time I spanked him.
    I bolted to the bathroom to mourn privately,
    as my heart shattered.

    I remember the time he fell and bled.
    Heart-shaped was this wound on his forehead,
    as my heart shattered.

    I remember when he cried and wished to die.
    Diagnosised with dissipating multiple sclerosis,
    as my heart shattered.

    How many times can one’s heart break?
    I remember laying prostrate praying for hours,
    as my heart healed.




    Submitted on 2005-07-31 00:38:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's just so hard with our children and those we love to see them have to suffer or feel like they're hurting.
    This was very honest and heartfelt and you put your emotions out there.
    Prayers for your son and you. Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Very moving piece, Cheryl. So sorry to hear about his diagnosis. MS is a terrible disease. My only suggeestion is to eliminate the last line in stanzas 2-4. I think it's evident from the first stanza and the way you portray each scene and doesn't need to be said. Other than that, an excellent write. I especially liked the last stanza, how you received hope in the end; true beauty.

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      *applause*

    Cheryl D Lemley, this is very very good...

    subject matter aside, you pour your emotions out in this, with so much impact that I wasn't even irked by the "heart" repetition.

    Simply brilliant work, and I'm glad your heart is so resilient....

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. I'm not quite sure about the last stanza. Tell me if this is right...I got that you were prayin and your heart got repaired. If that was what you were saying...i think tha twas a great ending. If you find out how many times a heart can break...please tell me. I would love to know. This was something great to write about. Your child is in my thouthts and prayers. For i hope things get better for you and him. Have a great day and smile:)

    Mikki
    x3
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      the last stanza is hard for me to grasp. This is a tough situation. Does your child have MS? This is such a hard situation, but you know it is not just a quote of wisdom, but really a fact, "God does not give those something they cannot handle." You must be a strong person from strong genes, and therefore this child is strong as well. It will be okay, have faith in your blessings, they are there in multitude even if they do not seem like it right now. They will show their true colors like everyone in your life will. This child is in my thoughts...

    Indigo Kid
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]
      My heart breaks just reading this my friend.
    It is a sad subject matter and a hard one to write about.
    I don't have children of my own yet but I think I can understand the feelings you would have.
    But the heart breaks from time to time and maybe we can fully heal it but we can try.

    Outstanding write Cheryl
    personal and painful

    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      prayer has incredible power. i think i've spent this entire day praying.. healing comes slowly but it comes.. what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. i will keep you and your son in my prayers. this was beautiful and moving.
    @ Cat
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! With a child...it is hard. You have to be a role model and "mold" them and at times it can get really hard to do. Your heart does break a lot. You feel like such a bad person after disciplining them...you doubt the decision you made. But then 3 minutes later the child forgets...you forget...and you move on.

    Your prayers do help you to get through it. I am a single mother and I often ask the Lord to guide me as the father of my child. Allow me to make the right choices at the proper moment.

    This was extra extra special to me.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]


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