Description: this is by far different from what i write. i just have a spring in my step lately.
thanks to joeym1962 and inspirit999 for the small change and the grammar. :)
Awake a New -------------------------------------------
early morning awakes the day
graceful smiles from the sun rays
yearning to have faith
with god spoken words
linger on a flower
may be a daisy or a rose
with morning dew elegant and a new
a twinkle in those deep solemn eyes
pleasant waves across the way
simple pleasures awaken in me
without a tear
without those screams
listen to the birds chrip
no hesitant pleading jerk
embrace the day with someone new
causing smiles
paint the vibrant dew.
Wow, very well done. I actually just wrote a peice with the same expression labeled onto "dew". When I post it I will tell you. I think you will like it. As for your poem, nicely done. I love the way you play with the idea of recleansing. A New day brings new oppurtunities. This idea is well played with. This is my favorite stanza: "simple pleasures awaken in me without a tear without those screams" This is well done. Shows how nature in all its beauty can sometimes just take all the pain away. So well done, this is a fav for sure. Thanks for the read, PEACE.
Very nice, I agree with Joey, but bar that, it's great! Refreshingly different, and wonderful imagry, plus, I've always been a sucker forthe multiple-meanings behind dew. I don't really know what else to say. ~ Uriel
This is a very nice poem. I only have one minor nit - i think you beak the first stanza one line early - you might consider pulling that 1st line of stanza two up so it reads like this:
early morning awakes the day graceful smiles from the sun rays yearning to have faith with god spoken words linger on a flower
My favorite part is the last three lines:
embrace the day with someone new causing smiles paint the vibrant dew.
the analogy of dawn and a new relationship is staggeringly beautiful - very nice!
actually its very nice i like this change of tone here it's very uplifting. "early morning awakes the day" that is a mood as well from what i see is seems like a better hope for the new day.the second line amplifies that mood even more"graceful smiles from the sun rays" graceful smiles is warming. "yearning to have faith with god spoken words" this ties in with the earlier lines in a wonderful connectivity. "with morning dew elegant and a new" that is just plain lovely. i feel for the next three lines "simple pleasures awaken in me without a tear without those screams" that is so touching the renewal of thoughts this gives me a good feeling to read it. "no hesitant pleaing jerk" small problem with pleaing maybe pleading? i also like "embrace the day with someone new" it helps to have someone with you when you mood changes. my favorite line is "paint the vibrant dew." every word there is wonderful. a joyous write you have done it well, mike :)
This is very spiritual and uplifting, considering just the titles I see on your page, I commend your ability to write yourself into acceptance. And that's all it is, the dawn is a symbol of embracing the new and while the elements you use are common ones ( how could we change what the dawn offers us?) you use them in your own unique way. The dew as paint is refreshing, nothing to hide the real things, just a glisten. Really great job on this one, peace and love, Nan
Submission Name: Awake a New
