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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Queen of Roses Dethroneddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 871
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 966



    Description:
       
    (Alliteration runs thick this time of the year. )

    A marriage of metaphors:
    The garden of love and the Queen as the person that controls it. She rules until thrown from the throne by reality.

    She returns to the garden to begin the process again.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsQueen of Roses Dethroneddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Without coronation she was crowned
    Queen of the glorious growing bouquet.
    For a time she was potentate of passion
    but even kind kingdoms are taken down
    by internal struggle and soul's ugly strife.

    Falling then failing in love becomes
    an ended reign over wilted roses.
    Realization is raised in reality.
    Her mind molds to a mob mentality
    Her thoughts take up revolution.
    Ragged emotions rally to toss her out
    She is dumped tussled and tormented.

    This view of beauty is plainly painful.
    Dethroned she is thrown on the thorns.
    Yet aroused by remembering the rose's
    scent and sweet sentiments
    she rises in humility to till the garden ground
    while whispering wishes watered by tears and
    tended with tender attention,
    the petals of one petite blossom in bloom
    will place her on the throne again.




    Submitted on 2005-07-31 13:09:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this alot. The message of being thrown from the throne to rebuild another kingdom is splendid. Very inspirational. Something that I have noticed happens in my life every five years or so...kinda hits a spot with me. Then to realize that the thrown was never forfeited (sp?)...it just got moved to a different part of the room is all, hee-hee. Reality...its subtly transparent at times. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      You are no stranger to words and their use here is a redundant sound, and it seem to work because they mirror each other in sound and yet the meaning is different. Alliteration, of course, however you explain it double entendres aside..

    I like the theme of this as it reminds us that love grew from itself and even though it's passing has come, watching, waiting, and being humbled again by love's glow, just might happen again. Ahh, to love, such a simple way to live.
    Thanks for this Chrystine, it really hits home.
    much love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      this is deep yes i like these because it causes me to try to dig a little. i might not hit everytime ill do my best. since these are my views its my take on this.
    1st line "Without coronation she was crowned" no formal ceremony almost seems as an unwanted thing at times. {mood} distant// 2nd line "Queen of the glorious growing bouquet." like a self porclaimed ruler over all that is beautiful, growing may translate into the fullness of life. bouquet may mean the many different aspects/people {moods} mixed feelings of wonderment and desire also I have a cynical mood as well.// 3rd line "For a time she was potentate of passion" holding power over passions? but for a time meaning limited in potency and duration or maybe oppsing forces that limit it. {mood} interest// 4th line "but even kind kingdoms are taken down" kingdoms high places could mean higher planes, office of any kind, thing worshipped, realities both reality and other dimensions. taken down: torn apart, dissolved, ended, conquest, phased out. {mood} sad and a little empty// 5th "line by internal struggle and soul's ugly strife." i can see this more vividly the soul fight against or maybe even building walls to defend against being overtaken. {special relation} internal struggles i have on a day to day basis a constant fight against my self. {moods} morose but somewhat hopeful// lines 6th and 7th "Falling then failing in love becomes an ended reign over wilted roses." oh this is so sad this line its is so graphically amplified by the wilted roses a thing of beauty dying. {mood} depressed// 8th "Realization is raised in reality." small redundancy in this line but doesnt take away from it. the awekening sometimes and more often than not in a nightmare of events. {mood} extremely wary// 9th-12th having trouble grasping.// 13th "This view of beauty is plainly painful." there real view of love seems to be pain i dunno maybe im not even close.// 14th "Dethroned she is thrown on the thorns." thrown to the thorns: among pain and the absent beauty. {gloom} // 15th and 16th "Yet aroused by remembering the rose's scent and sweet sentiments" reflective of better times {moods} hopeful. i dont know i might be missing alot of things here. as for the rest i have trouble only to say it is very nice and the rest of it is extremely vivid still though it seems like the queen may take on different identities which may be why im having trouble seeing into this. mike
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm, never read something quite like this, the lines and they way they work with each other...interesting, but also sort of read like a dr. suess at some points...thats not a negative or anything, i wasnt trying to criticise, because really, overall, the thought behind your piece seemed unique and original, i wonder while reading it if it directly related to you, like if thats where your inspiration came from...anyways, yes, dont mean to ramble, good write overall...

    tony
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by nwproud | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely alliteration! This is a wonderful poem to read aloud, aurally delightful, especially,

    'Her mind molds to a mob mentality' it doesn't sound as soft and beautiful as the images, its almost as harsh as what its trying to say,

    and
    'whispering wishes watered by tears' it has this haunting beauty to it,

    I love it! The concept is very interesting, and this piece is highly symbolic in light of recent events in the world. Although there is sadness, and violence in this poem, the dethroning of an almost virgin like queen figure, a sort of Madonna figure, is very brutual, and really allows one to ponder the atrocities committed in this world that brings ruin upon this once perfect 'garden'...

    but, like a lot of your poetry, it ends with a message of healing and hope, which to me is just wonderful, You are able to convey the reality and violence of a situation, without ending it on desolate terms.

    'she rises in humility.'

    this is breath taking. and I hope she will continue to rise. ;)

    Thank you, as always for the lovely poetry you share. I never walk away without some sort of solace and comfort gained from them.
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]


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