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    dots Submission Name: Counterclockwisedots

    Author: frozenconscienc
    ASL Info:    17/f/md
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 91/55/13
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 1153
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 694

       My first post. Took ten minutes to write. Slam it, if you wish.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Count for reasoning
    Count to ten
    Fall back down
    And start again

    I kept my eyes close
    too long
    I should've known that you'd
    be gone

    How it's always been-
    Run and hide like you do
    When I count to ten
    I'll come rescue you

    Now I can't find you
    It was never my fault
    I tried to get us through
    Our screeching halt

    So I'll count to ten
    Like I always do
    But unlike back-when
    I'll walk away from you

    Count for failure
    Count to ten
    Fall back down
    Through hell again.

    Submitted on 2005-07-31 15:49:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think that the rhyme is very nice and flowed perfectly. I didnt see any spots that made me have to go back and re-read.
    Keep it up and good job!

    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]
      Thank you all. I shall work on it...I'm not sure if I should post this reply here or not...oye. As you can see, I just joined.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]
      soemthing was off here maybe the rhyming and the ended seemed stange like it wasnt done and forced to finish i liked the idea though
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good...i'm personally not a big fan of rhyming with poems but thats just me. i think you kinda got lost in your second stanza...it seems to kinda trail off where as your others seem to go somewhere. but good write. keep it up :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by blackbeauty5791 | [ Reply to This ]

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