Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Flutter of the Bouncing Hearts

Author: WaxingPoetic
ASL Info:    27 ~ Louisiana
Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 493 /563 /100
Words: 140
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1072
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 948


New guy in my life, had to write about him and how he makes me feel. :)

Flutter of the Bouncing Hearts

Bouncing hearts collide
Going back and forth in my brain
They only show themselves
When I think of you
(Which is constantly
And hardly an exaggeration)
They twist and turn
Flip-flop and cartwheel
And make my heart flutter
They are in shades
Of pink and yellow
Amethyst purple
A few emerald green
And striking red ruby
But my favorites
Are the hearts
That share the color of your eyes
So bright and perfect
A blue so clear
That I can almost see through it
Like the ice of a glacier
Symbolizing you
So strong and powerful
The hearts speak your name
They whisper
Let me know
You will always take care of me
Will always hold me close to you
So that our hearts can join together
And the flutter
Of the bouncing hearts
Will never stop

Submitted on 2005-07-31 21:08:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  very descriptive. i know how you feel. i have a new girl in my life who is very special to me. i like your poem. i've always liked your work. i've been away for awhile, but i'll be back on a lot more now. keep it up. i always enjoy reading your stuff.
| Posted on 2005-09-20 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
  This was like soda. Effervescent and sweet, nearly verging on saccharine but stopping jst short. The excitement of a new relationship often sets people to thinking in vibrant colors. It's quite the experience.

I found the glacier metaphor to be a little cheezy but I wont hold it against you. It is a love poem so there has to be the token "his eyes are so dreamy/he's so strong and handsome" reference.

Overall a light, "bouncy" piece that accomplishes what it set out to.

| Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]
  Amethyst purple
A few emerald green
And striking red ruby
But my favorites
Are the hearts

enjoyed the descriptive words of the diffrent gems, and i always enjoy a little new love piece, its such raw emotion when love finds somebody that its hard to say anything about it rather than just enjoy reading it no matter the format or the flow good write
| Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?