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    dots Submission Name: PARISdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 613
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 453

       just a lil writers day dream happens to me often and i wondered if it was a common thing amongst writers so i wrote a lil diddy on it let me know what you think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    There’s a rich scent here .
    like warm bread and clove cigarettes.
    Friendly banter .
    I cant understand it all .
    I love the simple streets
    Little markets.
    I write .
    I write about its people .
    Its art .its air.
    And when the pen rolls from my hand it makes a pinging noise
    I am awake.
    The artificial light is blinding.
    Its late.
    Where are my pills.

    Submitted on 2005-07-31 21:22:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think you have real skill. This is simple yet captivating and you have the fell of paris in your words. what a wonderful little day dream. I have to say, every now and then it happens to me when I have been writing. Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by rockunsilenced | [ Reply to This ]
      Now, I like this... I commented on your last poem and maybe I came off a bit too harshly, and if i did, i apologize...

    But this is great. It gives insight to what you were dreaming about. I love the first two lines... you gave smells in your daydream...not just sights. I like that.
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by Mahoganii | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. I think you captured the art to abstract writing or free verse. You used imagery so well here. and you kept it simple. Good flow. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

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