Description: ok this one turned into a bit of a story, but it's kinda like what i was feeling one day. i was really sad and down and wished that someone could come and save me so i wrote this to pretend that maybe someday someone could. This is my first every attempt at a uh.. 'happy' poem so maybe it's not so good.
My Angel -------------------------------------------
I was tired of living
I tried to run
I was tired of giving
For it's no fun
I thought i knife could end the pain
A crimson river flowing
Or a bullet lodged deep in my brain
To stop the hurt from growing
I chose the blade
A lovely knife
My wounds now fade
As i end my life
Sinking down into the night
The world turns black around me
Somehow now, there is a light
But wait, how can that be?
I open my weary eyes
And see someone there
Keeping me barely alive
While sobbing into my hair
I lie confused
But i no longer wish to die
I'm still bemused
As i look him in the eye
It's late in the evening
What am I to do?
He whispered in greiving
"Don't die. I love you."
I found my angel that day
He came to save me
He took all my pain away
And said he loved me
The moonsmiled bright that night
As she gazed down upon us
Bathing s in silvery light
Until the sun shone at dusk
I'm still alive today
Because on an angel
I would have died that day
If not for my angel
This is really beautiful This write is so touching I can honestly say to you I had the very same experience It is really beautiful when you recognize there is someone there watchimg over us God Bless Your Friend Ron
I love concepts to do with angels and this was no exception. I think you did well to keep the ABAB rhyme scheme going throughout this piece without it sounding too forced and I agree with you that this turned into a bit of a story, when it was just emotions at the start, but it turned out nicely. Happy, you say? Well I wouldn't judge it 'happy' all the way through with references to knives etc at the start, but it turned out happy enough with the angel. A unique poem in its plot and I definately think this is something to build on. Write on...!
I love this... so much. I felt like I was reading about my own life... I did have someone that came and saved me from doing harmful things to myself and trying to end my life... and he is my angel that I shall never forget or stop appreciating for what he did for me. I only hope that this piece will come true for you as well and that you will get an angel to come and help you through the rough times. Keep your chin up. You're a great writer... and i'm putting this in my favorites because it really touched so close to my own life and reminded me that there is someone out there that cares. Brooke
This is a good poem! Yeay for the happy write! At first it started off grim, but then turned very positive and I thought that was great! I have always believed in guardian angels. You know how sometimes things happen and you wonder how you remained safe throughout it? Well I believe our "angels" keep a watchful eye on us for protection. Of course it could be mere coicidence but its more fun to believe ya know?? Anyway, you've done a great job with this one and I hope to see more happy writes from you! Take care!
I am loving this poem. I just love the wording and the flow, immaculate. Dont we all wish to be saved by our guardian angel. I liked how you established themotional connection between the angel and the persona:
"It's late in the evening What am I to do? He whispered in greiving 'Don't die. I love you.'"
Beautiful...this is the type of work I like.Honestly it wasn't turned into a story, it was made as if it were true...but then again I am not exactly a good poet myself.However yours was perfect...just always remember your Guardian Angel is always watching over you whether you believe Angels exist or not.Keep up the good work...
I think this is really sweet. The end did not rhyme quite as well as the rest, but that okay. I kept picturing the angle being God. Really sweet. Keep at it!
I really liked this, though I don't really like works about angels. I thought I'd read this anyway, and I turned to like it. It's very dramatic. The rhyming scheme did kinda take away from it where it didn't quite flow (as shown in earlier comments). However, it's a great poem nonetheless. Keep writing Good job. *Melissa
This was great! It is SO hard to write a happy poem when there seems to be negative things all around. I know how that is. I don't think I have ever written a happy poem. Ever. You did a great job!
Submission Name: My Angel
