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    dots Submission Name: the fragile enddots

    Author: waffuru
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 12/23/8
    Words: 233
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 958
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1354

       about an old love and a new love found.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe fragile enddots

    A domino push, tailbone crush. I piled into you. We ran through dandelion fields. Yellow sparks chased our shadow. You said "I love you so.".

    I found a new butterfly, whose wings do not fold. I found her color to be unlike any I'd seen before. The color I always wind up crashing into. Bound to a crush with barbed wire. The crash site mourned. White crosses marked the fallen. "Here lies: True Love."

    I could have been mistaken. I saw you wink at me and smile. The green bow you always kept in your hair. You said it was so I would always recognize you. No mistakes, you told me.

    This is the last time I will write about you. You are a butterfly. But I am no net. I do not wish to keep you.

    Do we wish to play this game? Chase and lie. Hide and deceive. Don't answer the phone.

    Lampost lake veiw. Spotlight on a sidewalk crack. Your personification. Bought buckets of paint. "Hides flaws and imperfections."

    Would you be jealous to see my butterfly? Soaring to cloud limits with such fine guster and grace. The sense of replace. You will finally be replaced.

    The dab of my paints upon this new canvas. A fresh start. Twist the lense into focus. Sunrise on the horizon. Snap the shudder before it's gone.

    Submitted on 2005-08-01 03:22:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the images you paint. It's wonderful. I love how it tells a story while not being short story like. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by Nohbodyspoet | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. very different. but very beautiful.
    i love the last part.
    it all just drew you into the story. So wonderfully done.

    It seems very personal.. but still you used great imaginary and let the reader into your thoughts and feelings.
    You have a great talent. Your style is one that i havnt seen very much but i love it.
    You seemed to have put alot into this and it payed of.-
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece, short and sweet! I really liked, "You are a butterfly. But I am no net. I do not wish to keep you." I don't really know why, its just so clever. Your wording is really good and it flowed amazingly. The piece was very original and unique.. just like a butteryfly :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Heavens Rebel | [ Reply to This ]
      I really loved the flow of this, the way you wrote it was beautiful. But I hated that face that it's all bunched together (if that makes any sense) it made it hard for me to read, I know this is suppose to be a story but it seems more like a poem.
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]

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