Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: July 27, 2005dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ibelikeso
    ASL Info:    27/M/FL
    Elite Ratio:    4.99 - 119/106/24
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 872
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1334



    Description:
       this is a series of events in my life that i have put into words...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJuly 27, 2005dots
    -------------------------------------------


    the words ink into my mind.... tainted from their sorrow filled sounds.
    the ink that flows from that solid mind and leaks as tears to the ground.

    that is all i can feel, as my chest holds in air real tight.
    my hands firmly cover my heart, and ambitious i continue to fight.

    the girl across with a deceitfull smile, takes me in to her arms.
    I feel the comfort of such love, although its but a charm.

    in her mind shes thinking "help me, please!", "i cant continue this life."
    but in an innocent way, what she really asked is... "will you take care of me as your wife?"

    then theres a boy, unlike the man, that noone has shown him love.
    He is passed around from hand to hand, just like an old filthy glove.

    so the boy grows bitter and he grows old, wanting to be more than me.
    but all he does is caos and wrong, and thats all that is left to see.

    to proud to ask for help, even to admit that he is wrong.
    the boy continues to live a lie, ignoring that he is all alone.

    once more theres a woman that spills ink to my ears as it is sorrow filled lonely words. i wish i could cry with all of my heart.... " you are the only one for me LORD!!!"




    Submitted on 2005-08-01 07:06:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yo dat was sweeeeeeeeet.i like the ryhms. the end part is cool.


    "once more theres a woman that spills ink to my ears as it is sorrow filled lonely words. i wish i could cry with all of my heart.... " you are the only one for me LORD!!!" "


    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting, I could shower you with all the 'Oh, how beautifully bittersweet' crap, but I don't think thatís what you need to hear, well, a series of events in your life? Thatís more then interesting, you have an intriguing way of writing, this is...I don't really know because its yours, and only you can really interpret it, but I enjoyed it, I like the way you did the whole sorrow filled voices entering the ear...I guess now I should tell you that you have talent and well done or something. Hmm, shame, I won't. But itís really good.
    - Illusion
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Illusion | [ Reply to This ]
      i feel like i have picked up someones photo album while walking down the street and am looking at the photos while walking somewhere that i can hand it in... to see if i will be reclaimed only not all the pictures are there... some of them are missing and so it is hard to get the full knowledge of the person... one only gets half a story if that...

    each two line thought represents a different photo... a different glimpse at a moment in time that has stuck with you and while it is brief and fleeting it is real and powerful too...

    the way you create ppl in this... especially yourself... is really well done considering the few words you have used... the sorrows, the interactions, the broken dreams and crippling fears... the need for love...

    you are so sensitive (in a good way) and that comes through in your write... in your sefl analysis and attempt to write through and make sense of life experiences that have bought you to where and who you are now...

    this was really interesting... i wanna know more... wanna find the rest of the photos... who knows...
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    68835

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Giving written by jjd
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry