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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mister and Missingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 549
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 798



    Description:
       I have a friend who's spent the past four years wallowing in how unfairly the world has treated him; so much so that he's destroyed his relationship with his wife and alienated his four young children. This is about the healing virtue of overcoming depression and letting anger go.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMister and Missingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I suffer
    you suffer
    we suffer
    they suffer;
    why, suddenly,
    does suffering
    matter?

    Are you, perhaps,
    the jealous sort,
    fiercely protective
    of your misery;
    thoroughly enamored
    of your martyrdom,
    a sea of red droplets,
    a fantasy?

    Last I remember
    the souls of men
    bore burdens,
    wept heavily and grieved,
    and neither the heavens
    nor the host of hell,
    condescended,
    made you
    the masochist's deity.

    Hope you find
    the country of young men,
    learn to caress
    the tender flesh,
    plucking from the
    faulty optic nerve
    stigmata that have stolen
    what we call blessed.




    Submitted on 2005-08-01 10:36:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow, i loved this. i really have nothing to critique. I loved the use of big words because you obviously know the meaning since everything makes sense. wonderful piece.
    the 3rd stanza is my favorite.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Exodus Night Sky | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, you don't have much compassion for whatever has made him so depressed, do you?

    Whilst I agree with your words, and I thought you structured the whole piece really well, it was an almost raw rant at someone to get their head out of their own arse and stop being king of all suffering.

    Maybe that's what you intended? I just wonder if you wrote this to make him feel better...or you?

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this to be interesting and thought provoking.
    It's true, there are some (even me, at times) who wallow in self-pity.
    I could use someone like you to give me a good kick in the butt when that happens again.

    I love the way this started out.. it was fun to read out loud.
    Neat title...
    And the rest was quite enjoyable and eye-opening too.

    Great work!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very good, but I would just eliminate the first stanza; it's too much 'telling'. The rest of it 'shows' a clear picture of him; you don't even have to explain it.

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the first stanza just doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem.
    I love the poem, besides that and wouldn't change it. I wallow too. The next time I wallow-I'll look here.
    Great write.
    -Melissa
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]
      You can see a slight bit of anger in this poem. Sort of like, "I'm fed up with this crap, hope you get what you deserve" or something to taht extent. I liked this alot... I think that this poem had some healing powers on you. Good for you...

    Indigo Kid
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]


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