[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Mister and Missingdots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 554
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 798

       I have a friend who's spent the past four years wallowing in how unfairly the world has treated him; so much so that he's destroyed his relationship with his wife and alienated his four young children. This is about the healing virtue of overcoming depression and letting anger go.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMister and Missingdots

    I suffer
    you suffer
    we suffer
    they suffer;
    why, suddenly,
    does suffering

    Are you, perhaps,
    the jealous sort,
    fiercely protective
    of your misery;
    thoroughly enamored
    of your martyrdom,
    a sea of red droplets,
    a fantasy?

    Last I remember
    the souls of men
    bore burdens,
    wept heavily and grieved,
    and neither the heavens
    nor the host of hell,
    made you
    the masochist's deity.

    Hope you find
    the country of young men,
    learn to caress
    the tender flesh,
    plucking from the
    faulty optic nerve
    stigmata that have stolen
    what we call blessed.

    Submitted on 2005-08-01 10:36:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, i loved this. i really have nothing to critique. I loved the use of big words because you obviously know the meaning since everything makes sense. wonderful piece.
    the 3rd stanza is my favorite.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Exodus Night Sky | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, you don't have much compassion for whatever has made him so depressed, do you?

    Whilst I agree with your words, and I thought you structured the whole piece really well, it was an almost raw rant at someone to get their head out of their own arse and stop being king of all suffering.

    Maybe that's what you intended? I just wonder if you wrote this to make him feel better...or you?

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this to be interesting and thought provoking.
    It's true, there are some (even me, at times) who wallow in self-pity.
    I could use someone like you to give me a good kick in the butt when that happens again.

    I love the way this started out.. it was fun to read out loud.
    Neat title...
    And the rest was quite enjoyable and eye-opening too.

    Great work!
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very good, but I would just eliminate the first stanza; it's too much 'telling'. The rest of it 'shows' a clear picture of him; you don't even have to explain it.


    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the first stanza just doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem.
    I love the poem, besides that and wouldn't change it. I wallow too. The next time I wallow-I'll look here.
    Great write.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]
      You can see a slight bit of anger in this poem. Sort of like, "I'm fed up with this crap, hope you get what you deserve" or something to taht extent. I liked this alot... I think that this poem had some healing powers on you. Good for you...

    Indigo Kid
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The World written by jjd
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]