[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Ocean Nostalgiadots

    Author: Muse in White
    ASL Info:    17 F Singapore
    Elite Ratio:    4.81 - 30/29/7
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 748
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 787

       My first English poem (I'm French), I just wrote it because I love the sea, I don't think that there's any hidden meaning, it's jsut the emotions that I felt in front of the ocean.(thanks Ted for helping me with the correction :-)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOcean Nostalgiadots

    From the bottom of the wide sea
    Until the ripples of the waves,
    Surrounded and lost in blue infinite,
    From dawn to night, from land to
    Heaven we stand.

    Pangs, illusions, loneliness,
    Musings, wild emotions bounded by fear
    Interlaced above the ocean wind,
    And from their fusion is created
    A strong yet delicate atmosphere

    In which we'll walk,
    Until the Moon comes down
    And polishes a golden surface
    Where Evil shall meet Love
    To dance, in Time, the steps of immortality.

    Then, when the night pours dark ink
    Over this place of ours,
    The ocean will torn open in suicide,
    Long algae and octopi shall stretch
    And lovingly drown us.

    Submitted on 2005-08-01 13:14:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Lovely words coupled with a very clear theme. It is obvious that you have a real emotonal bond with what you are writing. This I presume comes from your love - fear of the ocean !
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      this was beautiful.
    i love the scene you are painting here.
    so at peace.

    'Then, when the night will pour dark ink
    Over this place of ours,
    The ocean will tear open to suicide,
    Long algae and octopuses shall stretch
    And lovingly drown us.'

    the ending was so lovly.
    bringing closure.. but still leaving the poem to lingure on.
    im not sure what else to say.
    your discriptions were very beautifully portayed here.
    flowing well, while drawing the reader into your picture.
    i wouldnt change a thing-
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Most of the people tells us how much they love the write - that's the reason why we comment. - Just want to say - it was agreat read, thank for the time and effort you put into writing this piece. -

    The following line stood out for me ...

    "Surrounded and lost in blue infinite,
    From dawn to night, from land to
    Heaven we stand."

    and then of course :

    "To dance, in Time, the steps of immortality."
    - a good description of life that goes by.

    The thing I didn't like - but this is just an opinion

    "The ocean will be torn open in suicide,
    Long algae and octopi shall stretch
    And lovingly drown us."

    Why the following line:
    "The ocean will torn open in suicide,"
    "And lovingly drown us."

    "The ocean will reveal its secrets,"
    "And lovingly own us."

    Liked all of it except the last part.

    Kind regards
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by bornx2000 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely poem! Nicely written and definitely passionate for the ocean! I too, love the ocean. I live only a 5 minute walk from the atlantic ocean and it is one of my favorite places to be. It is just like your poem, so calm and peaceful. It is a wonderful place to think and relax and great for sunrises and sunsets which are just awesome! I love the wording you have used to describe how you see the ocean. Very well written indeed! Nice poem! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    ME written by jjd
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]