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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Humble Prayerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indigo Kid
    ASL Info:    33/f/everywhere
    Elite Ratio:    3.73 - 428/438/115
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1089
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1095



    Description:
       I wrote this for my friend and her family who lost two children in a car accident 7/24/05.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Humble Prayerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I do not own the last piece
    of this puzzle called life,
    but I will rest tonight
    knowing that through
    every struggle and
    every moment of joy,
    one day I, too, will
    own the lost piece that
    has been granted
    to those before me
    and they will join me again
    as ”we” are not forgotten.
    I will not carry guilt, for
    guilt has boundaries and they
    know none and neither should I
    for I know they are with me,
    holding my hand silently
    and unconditionally,
    as a parent to a child,
    in the darkest of times,
    guiding me with only their
    muffled and small voices
    and if I watch the signs
    and listen to the quiet,
    they are there, helping me
    to find the right path
    in my crestfallen world.
    This is my humble prayer
    and with this wisdom I will
    find strength for another day.
    God Bless you and your family.

    written by Ronda Erica Elliott
    for the Gregoire Family, July, 2005




    Submitted on 2005-08-01 17:30:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      it's different from what i'm used to so idk if it's supposed to have rhyme or flow or whatever.

    the puzzle=life was a good metaphore tho.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ]
      this was written for good reason and i hate commenting cause it was written from you heart and is probably the way u like it but i dont really understand your wording...
    one day I, too, will own
    the answer that those
    who have been granted
    that last piece before me own...
    Well I do understand it but I think that the too is unnecessary. It caused me to have to re-read this portion of a few times until the meaning really stuck. But it is a very powerful writing. It makes me feel remorse for the family you have written it for. Nice work one question though, you wrote this for the family but then added the portion about the child, is this truly your child that you speak of and they have died and is now guiding you or is this the families child? that part wasnt to clear to me.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by wretched_muse | [ Reply to This ]
      Ronda what a very wonderful thing you have done for this family.
    Is this the same family you mentioned in your journal?
    I am guessing so.
    I would personally like to send out my heart to these people.
    There is nothing more I can say.

    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...just...wow. I hope you show this to her. It really moved me. I can't begin to imagine a parent having to grieve over a child. Nothing I'd change, not one word.

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. can't relate, but it's an interesting piece. i've never seen a rhyming scheme like this, so i dunno how to judge it.
    i like it nonetheless.
    great job.
    -Melissa
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]
      Very wonderful piece of work Ronda. In particular I love the passage about not feeling guilt. I have three children and were I to lose one I would be drenched in guilt and remorse no matter the cause. It is a very moving piece and though I know there really isn't any way to assuage your friends pain over such a great loss I do hope it lets her know how much care and at least gives her pause for thought.
    Bill
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by rankamateur | [ Reply to This ]
      This is calming...peaceful...and hopeful. I really like this piece, it has a very soothing effect. I hope your friend can find the strength to get past the tragedy (whatever may have happened) I would also like to say that this was very generous of you. To create a soothing poem such as this for a dear friend. If only there were more people in the world like that
    ~Kat
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a lovely "prayer" for your friend. The knowledge that her child still exists and will always be with her is incredibly comforting. Your writing was from the heart and I'm sure touched your friends heart as well. She has a very good friend indeed!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      this is good, really good. just to be able to write something in such dedication, i really enjoyed the emotion it almost brung a tear. even though the flow could be worked on, but hey who cares about a flow when the message is this strong, good job
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      I lost a brother before I was born - the loss my mom & dad felt - still feel (39 years later) is incredible and always just out of reach of my understanding - I think I understand a little better now - This was beautiful
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      This a very calming piece, insightful and serene. Loved the flow and the message. I've lost so many family members and been to so many funerals it's almost become cliché and thats just sad, so i definately can identify. Good piece life really is a puzzle and we're trying to complete it but we dont have all the pieces.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      You did a very good job Kid. Sometimes condolences can be just feable words, but this one is inspiring and seems to be worded just right...for such a sad situation. Hope they mend well. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      A lovely, heartfelt prayer. Your love and concern shows through in each line. My sympathy goes out to this family, and to you.
    I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, much less two at once.
    Life is indeed a puzzle, an enigma. I guess we only get the last piece at the end of the road.
    The gone are never forgotten... and through words such as this they are remembered as well.
    Take care,
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I do like this one, as always you re lovely at the written word. I can feel the emotion over losing a child like you pictured it for your self and then wrote it. very good!
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by hidden lady | [ Reply to This ]


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